[ValerieUSA]

Not only should parents say "no" to sleazy clothes for young girls, but they should also say "no" to sleazy exploitation influences like certain fashion magazines (Glamour - YUK) and music videos.

[sweetliberty]

I remember when I was in high school I was always bucking the dress code, which was strictly enforced then. I got sent home a few times for having my skirts too short (1 1/2 inches above the knee was the rule). My mom would always make sure when she made my clothes that they were the "proper" length. As soon as she would leave for work the next morning, I would hem them before I went to school. On one trip to the dean's office I remember her trying to explain to me how it distracted the boys so they couldn't keep their minds on their work. Of course, that was also at a time when the schools still thought education was their job.

When my daughter was a teenager, there was a slightly different problem. Most of the girls in high school either dressed like tramps or slobs. My daughter was very fashion conscious but she never seemed to quite grasp that there is a fine line between tastefully attractive and too revealing. Fortunately, she tended most of the time to do alright, but there was always that compulsory rebellion factor to deal with.

I think in the context of today's lack of morality it is very difficult to teach girls about the messages they send in their manner of dress, but that makes it all the more important to make the effort.

[sistergoldenhair]

Gotta get back to this later!

[Dakmar]

Megan Cutter, who is 10, likes tight Capri pants, high-heeled flip-flops, T-shirts that say "Princess" or "Brat," and clothes with glitter, plenty of glitter. "I think it's really pretty, and it gets you attention," she says. "I like attention." This may be what Megan likes to wear. It is not, however, what she is allowed to wear.

She can wear whatever she want if she come work for Dr Dakmar.

< /sleazy idiot persona off >

On a serious note, I am concerned about the effort the mainstream media seems to be focusing in their effort to convince everyone, especially children, that gratuitous sex is the key to happiness.

[unsycophant]

At ten, eleven, twelve.... girls have no real idea what being sexually provocative means. The burden is on parents to guide them. Sadly, this isn't happening, because so many parents seem incapable of understanding what parenting includes.

It seems that many parents are more concerned than their children are about the kids being popular and fitting in with their peers-and worrying about what the other parents will think if they appear too strict. The girls who are dressing unsuitably sure aren't buying the outfits with their own money.

[rohry]

Johnson, who specializes in preteen and adolescent girls, is the author of "Beyond Appearance: A New Look at Adolescent Girls" (American Psychological Association, 464 pages, $39.95).

I've got a book for sale called "Common Sense for Parents" (Free Republic, 2 pages, $1.95)...

[IronJack]

I was sent home for wearing my skirts too short too. And the guys in the locker room teased me unmercifully.

[serinde]

The third message is that she has a right to wear whatever she wants, but with that right comes responsibility. Lamb says, "A girl needs to know that, depending on what she wears, she may be read differently than how she means to be read."

This is a very important point. A young girl may see Britney as "cool" but not "sexy." Parents need to point out the differences, and that other people (eg, boys) may see something the girl isn't meaning to say.

My daughter and I had several talks on this vein when she was young. It took time and effort, and (for me) sidetracks into morality, being Christ-like, understanding lust vs. love, etc.

While I didn't like all her clothes, she learned to wear things attractive, not slutty, and grew up to be a fine wife and mother. I'd say the effort paid off, and I would strongly encourage all parents to make the effort.

[ArGee]

The third message is that she has a right to wear whatever she wants, but with that right comes responsibility. Lamb says, "A girl needs to know that, depending on what she wears, she may be read differently than how she means to be read."

This one was only running on the ragged edge of silly until I hit this gem. How can a girl from ages 9-16 "take responsibility" for the fact that some pedophile pervert might kidnap her and brutalize her to death if he sees her in a "sexy" skirt.

I'd rather have my daughter become a rebellious 20 year old than to carve on her tombstone at age 12, "Here lies a girl who had a good relationship with her father."

I'm probably going to compromise my Christian image with this next line, but when I read stuff like that the term "sh** for brains" seems to be a step up for some people. Shalom.

[GovernmentShrinker]

If a child is really feeling "marginalized by her peers" for not wearing raunchy outfits, this isn't a signal to her parents that they need to "have a conversation" with her; it's a signal that they need to ensure that she gets a new set of peers-- whether that means private school, home school, moving to a different neighborhood, direct assistance by parents in getting the child accepted into a new peer group in the existing environment, etc.

A couple of years ago, some psychologist made a big splash with a book claiming to prove that parents have little effect on how a child grows up, and that it's really the child's peers that have most of the determining effect. The assertion is probably largely true, except for one HUGE oversight: responsible parents exercise control (100% if necessary) over who their child's peer group is.