Kristi Noem Files For Divorce, Expected To Get Half Of Husband's Bras

The Bee ^

[Tench_Coxe]

CASTLEWOOD, SD — Former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem filed for divorce this week, with legal experts expecting her to receive half of her husband's bras in the settlement.

Legal precedent for divorce in South Dakota maintains that Mr. Noem's brassieres are common law property, and so will be equally divided between the two upon completion of the separation.

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TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS:

[Tench_Coxe]

I would imagine Corey L. might get freaked out....

[PeterPrinciple]

https://www.etsy.com/listing/4344545798/hot-red-mens-italian-satin-mesh-bra?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_us_us_-pmax_clothing&utm_custom1=_k_1e6a5069cf08184fbd673aab4bd6dcce_k_&utm_content=bing_555895052_1300723577014565_81295289625937_pla-2333094955146438:pla-2333094955146438_c__4344545798&utm_custom2=555895052&msclkid=1e6a5069cf08184fbd673aab4bd6dcce

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they may not fit her but it is still half.

[OKSooner]

Corey might decide that she wears them better than whatshisname ever did.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Which half?

[Leaning Right]

The Bee hits another one out of the park.

🐝

[CaptainK]

None of them will fit her properly.

[srmanuel]

I wonder why she is divorcing her husband, is it because the husband is a pervert or is it because she was cheating on her husband wanted to dump him for another man.

[Tench_Coxe]

Not making excuses, but if I were to guess, the former helped contribute to the latter.

[ChinaGotTheGoodsOnClinton]

Or vica-versa but you’d have to be pretty out there to react that way come to think of it.

[chajin]

The Bee, keeping us abreast of the latest news.

[No name given]

True.

[No name given]

Most likely.

[KarlInOhio]

At publishing time, Mr. Noem had offered to surrender the entire collection in exchange for full custody of the family's dog to ensure its safety.

And the Bee delivers a Mortal Kombat worthy finishing move.

[No name given]

Good question.

[Dr. Sivana]

Husband’s behavior is so perverted and weird, that few will post pictures.

I am not excusing adultery, and I do not believe in divorce and remarriage, but separation is quite understandable.

[mdmathis6]

Well since the hubby did what he did, technically she should be able to remarry due to adultery but due to her own past behaviors I guess it’s “complicated”.

[srmanuel]

Maybe it’s just me, I find it very difficult to believe that kristi Noem didn’t know her husband was a pervert. I suspect they have both been swinger for a long time, it just came out when they got to Washington.

[frank ballenger]

Too bad only satire sites provide some uplift. 👙

[dayglored]

> Too bad only satire sites provide some uplift. 👙

After reading about a beautiful 7yo girl stabbed to death by a stranger, I definitely needed some uplift. Satire will have to do.

[dayglored]

> Which half?

Probably the left side. Every woman I’ve known says her left side sags more and needs more support.