Posted on 08/25/2026 3:02:55 PM PDT by Angelino97
Have you found a girlfriend yet, young man? I ask because people are pairing off at the lowest rates in modern history.
While many argue over the causes, everyone—both left and right—agrees on the culprit: men. The internet is awash in articles positing some variation of the title “Where have all the good men gone?”
On the left, one of the most prominent works on this question is the New York Times’ essay “Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back” by Rachel Drucker. Leftists never consider the mess that is the modern dating world—or their role in creating it—and how it might incentivize the “good men” to go their own way.
Consider the #MeToo movement. After watching baseless accusations destroy the lives of countless powerful men, modest guys stopped pursuing women. When the media, divorce courts, and prospective employers decided to #BelieveAllWomen, young males afflicted by nothing worse than shyness backed off, because they didn’t want to become the object of social ridicule or make women uncomfortable. Courtship died.
Certainly, there are bad men out there, but rather than consider them an outlier, the left has encouraged young women to take a negative view of men in general.
While many establishment conservatives frame the issue differently, they agree that the courtship crisis is men’s fault. Fox News darling Tomi Lahren, for example, insists that “the pickings are slim” for young women seeking quality masculine men who have their affairs in order.
Attributing blame to a failure of personal responsibility on the part of men is, however, only a half-truth. Men are leaving dating behind because they no longer believe it’s possible to achieve what their fathers and grandfathers did.
Social conservatives love to blame pornography, but they get cause and effect backward. Porn does not cause men to retreat from dating; modern dating causes men to retreat into porn.
After realizing they were playing a losing game, a good many men stopped dating. They made the calculation that porn was the best they were going to get. You can think that ignoble—I certainly do—but they’ve come by that conclusion honestly. Of course, the same can be said of all the other petty vices our young men use to while away their days—video games, online trolling, doomscrolling, anonymous posting on 4chan, et cetera.
The underemployed online drifter will not square up if he doesn’t think his life is going to materially improve as a result. He thinks that, regardless of his effort, he will likely never meet someone who loves him back. Even if he could, he will likely never have the means to provide for her, or own a house, or raise a family. While not commendable, it is understandable that he throws up his hands and decides he might as well take what pleasure he can.
So, young man, I don’t blame you for checking out. I really don’t. But why is this happening now?
Modernity has taken from men the roadmap to demonstrate excellence. Sexual egalitarianism has set men and women on the same social level. Indeed, as universities and corporations increasingly favor women in admissions and hiring, women may soon be looking down at men on the social hierarchy.
But women are not attracted to men below them or on equal footing; they prefer men above them, as Jordan Peterson has noted. As a result, when the average woman assesses the average man, she finds him to have neither greater earning potential nor higher status, and therefore she finds him lacking.
And yet, modernity happened; women have been liberated, and turning back the clock is neither feasible nor desirable. Women are not giving up the vote or leaving the workplace anytime soon.
So, what then? On a societal level, that’s a good question that better minds than mine have tried and failed to grapple with. Individually, however, there is something I can recommend to every young, unmarried man: Get up!
Sure, the “me too” movement threatens you; both conservatives and progressives blame you for everything; the economy isn’t what it was in the 1950s; all sorts of new obstacles stand in your way. But you can—and should—view these as obstacles to overcome. Sure, your modest income does not elevate you within the social hierarchy and provide the default path to marriage and family that your grandfather had, but you can—and should—make your own path.
You can demonstrate excellence in an art—call it a hobby, if you like. Women have always been drawn to great artists—painters, composers, musicians, sculptors, architects, and craftsmen. Of course, women gravitate to some arts more than others (I find swing dancing to have strong female appeal). Excellence within an art reveals an ability to order things well, which is a necessary quality of leadership—and women seek men who can lead.
A great many men will not “make it.” They will wither away into nothing and might as well have never existed. Will you be one of them? Young man, you know that won’t do.
As Shakespeare says through Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, “The world must be peopled.” You have a duty to civilization to get up. No, actually, don’t do it for civilization. That puts the cart before the horse. Civilization is the byproduct of men who get up and achieve. Do you aspire to be such a man? Then screw what people think, screw your feelings, your ego, your pride.
Make your own path, pursue excellence, and—for goodness’ sake—go talk to her!
Um... they are making their own path. Isn't that clear by now?
And their path doesn't include YOU.
She ended up acting like the culture around here and did all the things that women do when they are wanting to divorce their husbands,
Which is why it's so ridiculous to imagine that marrying a "conservative" woman guarantees anything.
Modern conservatism reeks of the same entitled feminism as you find on the left.
The only thing that separates the average Fox News bimbo from their leftist sisters is the political talking points they parrot. They're on the same page when it comes to what they expect from a man.
“Tell him to make his money first. Then the girls will show up.”
That is a great plan to obtain a good wife. /s
Because "conservative" women like the current marriage laws.
Lol!
A man will gladly suffer for an appreciative wife who won't (or can't) steal his kids.
Men refuse to suffer for today's women, in today's legal environment.
Um, men have been doing that, Stephan, you egotistical, self-centered whackadoo. And women HATE men's hobbies. They sabotage them regularly. And for you and the leftists at the New York Times to pretend that's not so is unbelievable.
Men haven't been sitting around waiting for you and your feminist sisters to get their heads straight. They're demonstrating excellence in their "art" - building and maintaining society, building and launching satellites, pushing the limits science and technology. On the side, they're fixing up thing such as hot rods, motorcycles, and playing video games. Apparently they've also become connoisuers of art - that you call pornography.
Oh, Stephan, you meant that men should become second-class hobbyists in YOUR world. Listen very clearly because it's been clear for going on two decades:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Sorry Stephan - a man is NOT defined by a woman.
When I married the love of my life (late) I asked two questions, is he a Trump fan and does he like dogs. If he passed those two tests, we can figure out the rest.
Article:
“You have a duty to civilization to get up.”
Civilization should do its duty first.
Honor men.
Otherwise young men are totally justified in giving everyone the middle finger—if they choose to do so.
A "top tier" man can be an ahole, and women will love him or it.
A "lower tier" man who's an ahole risks being accused of sexual harassment, abuse, hate, or whatever. He might even be publicly shamed on social media for it.
-PJ
Well Stephan, there was also a modern wordsmith who said, "The world is a diaper so let someone else change it."
That's pretty much every romance novel, telenovela, and romcom.
Well Stephan, they are making their own path and pursuing excellence. Their path to excellence doesn't include you, her, or any of your other delusional sisters.
Men and women no longer need each other. At least not in the way they used too. A woman that makes her own money and has her own house doesn’t need a provider. It’s an affluence issue. Or, at least the appearance of affluence propped up by a huge mountain of systemic debt.
Men didn’t leave society - society left them, and society is now begging them to come back because they need them to keep things running.
“ And yet, modernity happened; women have been liberated, and turning back the clock is neither feasible nor desirable.”
Actually it is both feasible and desirable. And it’s going to happen, assuming of course, that our society doesn’t completely collapse.
Nature will be in out. It always does. So when the next generation of young women see what a mess this generation of women has made of things they’ll reject it.
It’s already happening with the “tradwife” movement. It’s only going to accelerate no matter how loudly the screeching harpies and soy beta cuck males on the Left try to stop it.
Reality will win out.
It always does.
L
That’s accurate. I just have a hard time understanding why gen z women consider him lower tier. The only thing he doesn’t have is the height. Are they that shallow? Sure, we all are to some extant. But for two inches of height? It’s nuts.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.