Posted on 08/25/2026 3:02:55 PM PDT by Angelino97
Have you found a girlfriend yet, young man? I ask because people are pairing off at the lowest rates in modern history.
While many argue over the causes, everyone—both left and right—agrees on the culprit: men. The internet is awash in articles positing some variation of the title “Where have all the good men gone?”
On the left, one of the most prominent works on this question is the New York Times’ essay “Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back” by Rachel Drucker. Leftists never consider the mess that is the modern dating world—or their role in creating it—and how it might incentivize the “good men” to go their own way.
Consider the #MeToo movement. After watching baseless accusations destroy the lives of countless powerful men, modest guys stopped pursuing women. When the media, divorce courts, and prospective employers decided to #BelieveAllWomen, young males afflicted by nothing worse than shyness backed off, because they didn’t want to become the object of social ridicule or make women uncomfortable. Courtship died.
Certainly, there are bad men out there, but rather than consider them an outlier, the left has encouraged young women to take a negative view of men in general.
While many establishment conservatives frame the issue differently, they agree that the courtship crisis is men’s fault. Fox News darling Tomi Lahren, for example, insists that “the pickings are slim” for young women seeking quality masculine men who have their affairs in order.
Attributing blame to a failure of personal responsibility on the part of men is, however, only a half-truth. Men are leaving dating behind because they no longer believe it’s possible to achieve what their fathers and grandfathers did.
Social conservatives love to blame pornography, but they get cause and effect backward. Porn does not cause men to retreat from dating; modern dating causes men to retreat into porn.
After realizing they were playing a losing game, a good many men stopped dating. They made the calculation that porn was the best they were going to get. You can think that ignoble—I certainly do—but they’ve come by that conclusion honestly. Of course, the same can be said of all the other petty vices our young men use to while away their days—video games, online trolling, doomscrolling, anonymous posting on 4chan, et cetera.
The underemployed online drifter will not square up if he doesn’t think his life is going to materially improve as a result. He thinks that, regardless of his effort, he will likely never meet someone who loves him back. Even if he could, he will likely never have the means to provide for her, or own a house, or raise a family. While not commendable, it is understandable that he throws up his hands and decides he might as well take what pleasure he can.
So, young man, I don’t blame you for checking out. I really don’t. But why is this happening now?
Modernity has taken from men the roadmap to demonstrate excellence. Sexual egalitarianism has set men and women on the same social level. Indeed, as universities and corporations increasingly favor women in admissions and hiring, women may soon be looking down at men on the social hierarchy.
But women are not attracted to men below them or on equal footing; they prefer men above them, as Jordan Peterson has noted. As a result, when the average woman assesses the average man, she finds him to have neither greater earning potential nor higher status, and therefore she finds him lacking.
And yet, modernity happened; women have been liberated, and turning back the clock is neither feasible nor desirable. Women are not giving up the vote or leaving the workplace anytime soon.
So, what then? On a societal level, that’s a good question that better minds than mine have tried and failed to grapple with. Individually, however, there is something I can recommend to every young, unmarried man: Get up!
Sure, the “me too” movement threatens you; both conservatives and progressives blame you for everything; the economy isn’t what it was in the 1950s; all sorts of new obstacles stand in your way. But you can—and should—view these as obstacles to overcome. Sure, your modest income does not elevate you within the social hierarchy and provide the default path to marriage and family that your grandfather had, but you can—and should—make your own path.
You can demonstrate excellence in an art—call it a hobby, if you like. Women have always been drawn to great artists—painters, composers, musicians, sculptors, architects, and craftsmen. Of course, women gravitate to some arts more than others (I find swing dancing to have strong female appeal). Excellence within an art reveals an ability to order things well, which is a necessary quality of leadership—and women seek men who can lead.
A great many men will not “make it.” They will wither away into nothing and might as well have never existed. Will you be one of them? Young man, you know that won’t do.
As Shakespeare says through Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, “The world must be peopled.” You have a duty to civilization to get up. No, actually, don’t do it for civilization. That puts the cart before the horse. Civilization is the byproduct of men who get up and achieve. Do you aspire to be such a man? Then screw what people think, screw your feelings, your ego, your pride.
Make your own path, pursue excellence, and—for goodness’ sake—go talk to her!
I think it's always been that way.
The difference is, in the past, men and women were under pressure to marry and stay married.
And so most "top tier" men got married. Some risked an occasional affair later in life, but such occurrences were rare relative to today.
Because "ordinary" women had no hope of even dating a "top tier" man, they settled for the men that were left.
But today, the media, and social media, tells every woman that she is awesome. She deserves the best. And because casual sex is now socially acceptable, "top tier" men can "pump & dump" every woman out there.
And so every woman focuses on "top tier" men, dating and sleeping with them, thinking he might marry her.
After he abandons her, she resents have to "settle" by marrying a "lesser" man.
Exactly! My father is 5’6” and when he was young... well ... dang he got a lot. Big ... Mind on him as well. My son has a 3.98 at a prestigious university, in finance and econ. Has worked for the governor, a congressman, and has won awards all over the place.... yet has no luck. He does try. He is at his wit’s end. He sees the ugly loser do nothing druggies with all the women and he isn’t having much luck.
Is that the woman who divorced him or has he married again?
I don’t think I’d put him up as a model for any young man.
He married a young woman who was supposedly the Biblical ideal.
She ended up acting like the culture around here and did all the things that women do when they are wanting to divorce their husbands, like being deceptive to make the husband look bad when wanting to divorce him.
It is a unicorn today to find a woman who wants to marry you, who will stay married to you for life and treat you well. That’s just reality and it’s unfortunate.
He is not remarried. I’m not saying he is ideal, but most men are no longer considered marriage material to the woment. They are all simply stepping stones to her hypergamy.
“While many argue over the causes, everyone—both left and right—agrees on the culprit: men.”
and yet a Pew poll found that 50% of females under the age of 30 had been diagnosed with a mental illness by a medical professional ... that sounds like a YUGE problem to me for “pairing off” ... what young man wants to pair off with a mentally ill female?
“It is a unicorn today to find a woman who wants to marry you, who will stay married to you for life and treat you well.”
Same goes for men.
Judging by that video we saw a few years ago, and other allegations, I don’t think I’d even want him for a stepping stone.
As long as the Leftists rag, The New York Times, props up such fake controlled "conservative" "opposition" as Tomi Lahren, they're broadcasting they're not serious.
Tomi Lahren is NOT a conservative and has been publicly open about being pro-abortion.
This is the one area in which I think immigration might be a good thing. Gen Z American women are AWFUL. I’m seriously thinking of sending my kid to Poland or Hungary for study a-broad.
Sometimes women don’t want to give the real reason they don’t want to date a guy. Sometimes it’s an off-putting personality or bad breath. I’m not saying that applies to your son, but I’m sure it applies to more than a few guys. (Tell him to come to Oklahoma, where there are a lot of men about the size of Audie Murphy but still manage to find a wife.) Also, some guys have short man syndrome, which includes a chip on the shoulder, and that’s attractive to no one.
“The internet is awash in articles positing some variation of the title “Where have all the good men gone?”
In my case, after 5 years of dealing directly with College-aged women, I went halfway around the world to find someone that I could get along with.
You saw half a video of his reaction. You did not see what she might have said to set him off. Don’t tell me you’ve never had an argument with your wife. Imagine what we might think if we only saw your reaction and not her creating the response within you to have that reaction?
“If “conservatives” are so concerned about the birth rate and family court and the culture today, why do they not push for marriage reform so that traditional marriage can exist?” - Pearly
There are more men who would like to have been married than woman. The culture has changed. Men are nothing more now than stepping stones to hypergamy for the woman. One she has used up to his maximum, she will leave. It’s just reality and no man should consider marriage under this reality.
It all started with “The Pill”, totally changed the dynamic.
Once a man realizes he’s valued only by “society” for what he provides, he’s out.
I don’t have a wife. And my husband has NEVER spoken to me that way.
Society teaches men to “get married and suffer like a real man”. Single men refuse to suffer.
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