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Knock Knock: Superhumanoid Bots Are Here. Satyress ThreeHalves Superhumanoid Bot Goes Viral.
glitchwire ^ | 07 30 2026 | Staff

Posted on 07/30/2026 7:06:14 PM PDT by yesthatjallen

Most humanoid robots share a single design assumption: that the human body is the template worth copying. Two legs, two arms, upright posture. The logic is intuitive. Factories, vehicles, and buildings were built for people, so machines that fit through the same doors and operate the same tools should slot right in.

But the human body is not optimized for dangerous work. Bipedal robots are inherently unstable, requiring constant active computation just to remain upright. Lose power on a two-legged system and it topples. Put one on uneven terrain and the control problem multiplies. The robotics industry has responded with workarounds, but the core constraint remains: copying human form means copying human limitations.

California startup Satyress is betting on a different approach. Its robot, called ThreeHalves, merges a humanoid upper body with a four-legged quadruped base. The result looks less like a warehouse assistant and more like a creature from Greek mythology. Or, as many commenters have noted, something closer to a nightmare.

SNIP

(Excerpt) Read more at glitchwire.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: robot; satyress; superhumanoid; threehalves

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1 posted on 07/30/2026 7:06:14 PM PDT by yesthatjallen
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To: yesthatjallen

Minotaur

The Watchers play... Hybridization conditioning.

“When the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?


2 posted on 07/30/2026 7:09:47 PM PDT by Varsity Flight ( "War by ๐Ÿ™ the prophesied set before you." ) I Timothy 1:18. Nazarite warriors. 10.5.6.5 These Days)
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To: yesthatjallen

, ThreeHalves uses a quick-connect wrist interface that accepts chainsaws, drills, wrenches, and other attachments swappable in minutes.


3 posted on 07/30/2026 7:10:26 PM PDT by PeterPrinciple ((Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere))
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To: yesthatjallen

https://x.com/Polymarket/status/2082677333454913849

I’m with Matt.


4 posted on 07/30/2026 7:10:39 PM PDT by mewzilla (Swing away, Mr. President, swing away! ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟ)
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To: yesthatjallen

I hope this doesn’t mean that they are going to make them without breasts.


5 posted on 07/30/2026 7:11:53 PM PDT by ansel12
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To: yesthatjallen

Pressurized tanks on the robot’s chest and back act as emergency targets. A purpose-built pistol can puncture them, triggering pneumatic brakes that lock the machine in place. The robot is also deliberately sized to be too large for standard American doorways; the horns can be extended further to prevent passage through pedestrian entrances entirely.+


safety features


6 posted on 07/30/2026 7:13:04 PM PDT by PeterPrinciple ((Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere))
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To: PeterPrinciple
The robot is also deliberately sized to be too large for standard American doorways; the horns can be extended further to prevent passage through pedestrian entrances entirely.

It can't kneel?

Cy Borg from Joe's Garage comes immediately to mind.
"Plook me now, you savage rascal!"

7 posted on 07/30/2026 7:18:58 PM PDT by Carry_Okie (The tree of liberty needs a rope.)
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To: yesthatjallen

A centaur?


8 posted on 07/30/2026 7:43:34 PM PDT by BipolarBob (These violent delights have violent ends.)
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To: T.B. Yoits


9 posted on 07/30/2026 7:47:10 PM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: yesthatjallen

“Lose power on a two-legged system and it topples.”

People and birds have gotten along fine after millions of years of using two legs.


10 posted on 07/30/2026 7:59:28 PM PDT by packagingguy
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To: yesthatjallen

Just give it an apple or a lump of sugar.


11 posted on 07/30/2026 8:22:14 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancerโ€ )
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To: yesthatjallen
Screenshot-30-7-2026-101732-x-com
12 posted on 07/30/2026 8:37:44 PM PDT by chief lee runamok (tek grudaute, quality learing center)
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To: chief lee runamok; dfwgator; null and void

Crud. It happened 29 years ago!!

A Skynet funding bill is passed in the United States Congress, and the system goes online on August 4, 1997, removing human decisions from Strategic Defense.

Skynet begins to learn rapidly and eventually becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m., EDT, on August 29, 1997.


13 posted on 07/30/2026 8:57:26 PM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the Days of Lot; They Did Eat, They Drank, They Bought, They Sold ......)
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To: dfwgator

How many times have I told you guys
that I don’t want any horsin’ around?


14 posted on 07/30/2026 8:59:41 PM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the Days of Lot; They Did Eat, They Drank, They Bought, They Sold ......)
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To: yesthatjallen
Those are NOT the robots I was hoping for. I was hoping for...


15 posted on 07/30/2026 9:43:15 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: yesthatjallen

will we have a cerberus next?


16 posted on 07/31/2026 7:31:41 AM PDT by thestopbuckshere
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