Posted on 07/21/2026 4:29:32 PM PDT by dynachrome
In a shocking turn of events, the mutant raccoon and viral social media star known as "Jimothy" was eaten this afternoon by Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Sources revealed that Kennedy, a longtime wildlife aficionado, methodically hunted down the famous raccoon over the past two days. Victorious over the beast, Kennedy skinned the raccoon, seasoned it with a special blend of spices, and grilled Jimothy to a perfect medium-rare.
"Took me many hours of tracking, but I caught the little guy. Got him with my bare hands," said Kennedy. "He was a crafty one, Jimothy. Whatever mutation he had, it also gave him near-human intelligence. This was far more like hunting a man than a raccoon. Do you know how chock full of antioxidants raccoons are? It's the ultimate immune boost. There are so many vitamins and minerals packed into this little fella."
While Kennedy chowed down, the internet mourned the loss of its latest animal celebrity
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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A follow up to my previous post:
“Mutant creature named ‘Jimothy’ stalks Seattle — and becomes local celebrity (raccoon with issues.)”
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4388220/posts
Why didn’t he just throw the carcass in Central Park?
“Why didn’t he just throw the carcass in Central Park?”
Testing for a new food pyramid item.
hope Bobby has had the rabies vaccine
😆
Lol, Noone is save with the babylon bee on the prowl 😆
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