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Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky
babylonbee.com ^ | May 20, 2026

Posted on 05/20/2026 9:40:38 AM PDT by V_TWIN

LOUISVILLE, KY — Representative Thomas Massie has accused the Jewish population of rural Kentucky of being the cause of his primary defeat.

After taking the stage to concede the race to Ed Gallrein, an angry Massie squarely laid the blame for his loss on the "dirty Zionists" of the tiny country towns that dot the Ohio River valley.

"I couldn't reach Gallrein to concede. He was probably lost with his supporters in yet another small-town Kentucky synagogue," declared Massie. "Yes, the deck was stacked against me by the Hebrew population of rural Kentucky. We ran a great campaign, I'm really proud of our team. We just couldn't overcome the Hasidic powers that control the farm towns of Appalachia."

Watching as the votes were tallied, Massie's campaign manager Randy Barnes stated that the Congressman had performed well in a few areas, but could not overcome the losses in heavily-Jewish areas of backwoods Kentucky. "Those nudniks really put the kabash on us," sighed Barnes. "Despite Israeli influence over the little villages of Kentucky, we showed a lot of chutzpah out there on the campaign trail. Mazel tov to Ed on his victory."

At publishing time, Massie had announced that he would now pursue his lifelong libertarian dream of opening a pot store.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: assie; babylonbee; bonerphone; bonerphonecrisis; kentucky; liberretardian; thomasmassie
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To: MeanWestTexan

Trump got elected only by convincing enough people to trust him

good luck with that one again JD Vance.

Trump is a lame duck. Vance is not.


21 posted on 05/20/2026 9:57:30 AM PDT by eboyer
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Comment #22 Removed by Moderator

To: V_TWIN

Yes. The article is satire. The shrinking tent and the young voters walking away are not.


23 posted on 05/20/2026 10:04:06 AM PDT by eboyer
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To: PGR88

LOL


24 posted on 05/20/2026 10:04:18 AM PDT by delchiante
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To: V_TWIN

Thanks. My eyes skipped over the heading too fast. Mea Culpa.


25 posted on 05/20/2026 10:04:32 AM PDT by Wuli (ui)
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To: V_TWIN

Yeah, Hava Nagila, Hillbillies!...................


26 posted on 05/20/2026 10:08:52 AM PDT by Red Badger (Iryna Zarutska, May 22, 2002 Kyiv, Ukraine – August 22, 2025 Charlotte, North Carolina Say her name)
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To: V_TWIN

27 posted on 05/20/2026 10:11:29 AM PDT by Red Badger (Iryna Zarutska, May 22, 2002 Kyiv, Ukraine – August 22, 2025 Charlotte, North Carolina Say her name)
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Comment #28 Removed by Moderator

To: V_TWIN

Imagine if those comments had said “black” instead of “Hebrew”.

Just imagine.


29 posted on 05/20/2026 10:12:02 AM PDT by simpson96
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To: eboyer

I do Not want to be the Party of young, ignorant white nationalists. Good on you if you do.


30 posted on 05/20/2026 10:12:35 AM PDT by Hildy
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To: Wuli

You would have to square that with his opposition to foreign aid to Syrian rebels and to Ukraine.


31 posted on 05/20/2026 10:12:43 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007 (There is nothing new under the sun.)
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To: All

Source: Brandeis University

Approximately 1.8 million Jewish adults, just under one-third
of the total Jewish electorate, live in twenty-five congressional districts.

National Profile of the Jewish Electorate, May 2020

Of the top twenty-five districts by Jewish population, nearly half are in New York —
NY10, NY-3, NY-12, NY-17, NY4, NY-9, NY-6, NY-8, and NY11.

The remaining districts with Jewish populations are found in seven states including Florida, California, Illinois, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Maryland, and Pennsylvania. FL-21 has the greatest number of Jewish adults at 152,000.

With the exception of NJ-4, these districts are represented by Democrats and all but two (NJ-4 and NJ-5) are Democratic-leaning districts.

American Jewish voters and campaign donors historically align with and donate heavily to the Democratic Party, with roughly 70% of Jews identifying as or leaning Democratic because of unwavering Democrat support for Jewish liberal values, such as abortions with the government picking up the tab, the gay agenda, social welfare, prayer in schools, pluralism, and church-state separation.

US Jews allegiance to the Democratic Party is driven by a commitment to liberalism, and that Democrats represents the Jewish community’s values.

Pro-Israel Tax Dollar Funding: pro-Israel lobbying groups (like AIPAC’s United Democracy Project) direct significant funding toward Democratic primaries to influence foreign policy positions......particularly foreign policy wrt tax dollar billions to subsidize Israel’s military, economy and its generous social welfare system

The majority of individual Jewish donations go to Democrats. (Pew Research Center)


32 posted on 05/20/2026 10:15:17 AM PDT by Liz (Winston Churchill: “Nothing in life is so hilarating as to be shot at without result.”)
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To: V_TWIN

It’s always the Jooooos. And if it isn’t the Joooos itmis global warming. And global warming is cause by Joooos.


33 posted on 05/20/2026 10:18:17 AM PDT by Organic Panic
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To: Red Badger

😂


34 posted on 05/20/2026 10:19:31 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America....so great even the people that hate it, won't leave)
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To: Hildy

so those that prefer we follow the constitution are white nationalists

Le Sigh

branding everyone as racist or a a bigot is how progressives run from a debate


35 posted on 05/20/2026 10:20:19 AM PDT by eboyer
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

“You would have to square that with his opposition to foreign aid to Syrian rebels and to Ukraine.”

So he’s a purist “anti-war” Libertarian, like Rand Paul. They are not realists.


36 posted on 05/20/2026 10:20:26 AM PDT by Wuli (ui)
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To: V_TWIN
Every time I hit rural Kentucky it's nothing but mullets with yarmulkes as far as the eye can see


37 posted on 05/20/2026 10:24:46 AM PDT by rdcbn1 (..when poets buy guns, tourist season is over................Walter R. Mead)
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To: eboyer
The shrinking tent and the young voters walking away are not.

The MAGA tent has only increased over the last 3 presidential cycles. Trump won two (really three) times.

If the age-old Deep State and the age-old left are able to fool a number of young people, then the blame goes to the those young people who fall for it.

I'm optimistic though. I only see the tent increasing as we have seen up until now.

38 posted on 05/20/2026 10:27:23 AM PDT by FreeReign
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To: Liz

One of Massie’s biggest donors? Jeff Yass - a wealthy JEW:

“That man is Jeff Yass, who recently — and indirectly — gave $1 million to a new super PAC that in recent weeks has been advertising in support of Massie’s reelection, according to records filed with the Federal Election Commission. Those records show Yass has set aside millions more in what could potentially be used for additional independent spending to help reelect Massie...

On Oct. 20 Yass contributed a whopping $7.5 million to a super PAC called Protect Freedom Political Action Committee. This super PAC was created in 2017 by political advisors to Paul that for the past five years has gotten 95% of its money (about $35 million) from Yass...

On Oct. 23 Protect Freedom donated $1 million to the new pro-Massie Kentucky First PAC....”

https://kentuckylantern.com/2025/12/09/thomas-massie-facing-trumps-opposition-gets-a-hand-from-billionaire-megadonor/

“For his part, the vast majority of Massie’s donations weren’t from Kentucky. From Jan. 1 to Sep. 30, about 4.3% of Massie’s campaign haul — $53,000 of about $1.23 million individual itemized donations — was from Kentucky donors.”

https://www.kentucky.com/news/politics-government/article314577436.html#storylink=cpy


39 posted on 05/20/2026 10:29:54 AM PDT by Mr Rogers
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To: FreeReign

The MAGA tent included people that like Thomas Massie

The turning Points and young Americans for Liberty groups had strong libertarian roots


40 posted on 05/20/2026 10:30:47 AM PDT by eboyer
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