Hats are optional.
Posted on 05/01/2026 9:35:23 AM PDT by Nateman
It is Friday. Time once again for some silliness!
Hats are optional.
What do you call a Chicken crossing the road?
Poultry In Motion!
“He was just turning his life around ...”
ROFLOL! I think you broke the internet with that one!
His extra long legs helped to make that a funny sight gag.
A guy walks into a bar.
He sees a tiny piano player, no taller than a soda can, absolutely crushing a jazz solo. Stunned, he asks the bartender, “Where did you find that guy?”
The bartender shrugs and says, “There’s a genie in the back. Grants wishes.”
The guy rushes to the back, finds the genie, and says, “I wish for a million bucks!”
Poof! Suddenly, the room fills with a million ducks. Quacking. Flapping. Chaos.
The guy storms back to the bar. “I said bucks, not ducks! What’s wrong with your genie?!”
The bartender takes a sip and says, “You really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?”
He was a high official in The Ministry of Silly Walks (Monty Python).
Sister Mary Lorraine wakes up in the morning and walks to the ladies room. As she is walking there, one of the other nuns walks by her and says, “Sister Mary, you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” and keeps walking.
A few steps later, another nun walks by her, giggles a little, and says “You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
Puzzled, she walks a little further and then is approached by a mother superior, who starts....”Sister Mary.....”
“What?” she interrupts.
“Why are you wearing the Bishop’s sandals?”
A guy is out for a walk and notices a hole in the field. So, he jumps the fence, walks over and looks in the hole, but can’t see the bottom. He looks around, see a pebble, picks it up and tosses it into the hole, cocks his head, and listens.
Nothing.
He looks around some more, see a boulder, picks it up, waddles over to the hole, tosses it in, cocks his head, and listens.
Again, nothing.
He looks around and see a railroad tie. He drags it over to the edge and, with some effort, stands it on end, and pushes it into the hole, cocks his head, and listens.
Again, nothing.
While he’s listening, he notices some motion out of the corner of his eye and turns to see a goat running crazy fast across the top of the ridge. It immediately hangs a right and comes screaming down the hill right at him! He jumps out of the way just in time to see the goat disappear over the edge of the hole. He cocks his head, and listens.
Still nothing.
About that time a farmer walks up and asks the guy if he’s seen a goat anywhere. The guy tells him he saw a goat run across the ridge, hang a right, and come running down the hill at a 100 miles per hour and dive into that hole over there. The farmer says “Impossible!”
The guy says he’s telling the truth—100 mph and into the hole.
The farmer says: “Impossible! I had him chained to a railroad tie.”
he laid the bike on it’s side because it was 2 tired
Bill Nye broke up with his boyfriend.
No more Mr. Nye’s guy
Yeeow!!!
Guy gets pulled over for speeding. Trooper says, “What’s your name, son?”
Driver replies, “D, d, d, Dav, Dav, David, Sir.”
Trooper says, suspiciously, “Do you have a stutter, David?”
Driver replies, “No, sir. My Dad stutters, and the guy who completed my birth certificate is an idiot!”
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