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Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs
babylonbee.com ^ | March 16, 2026

Posted on 03/16/2026 8:14:24 AM PDT by V_TWIN

69b58c618829f69b58c61882a0

CHAPPAQUA, NY — With TSA suffering severe staffing shortages amid a halt in pay, former President Bill Clinton has volunteered to lend a hand patting down passengers.

A smiling Clinton arrived early for his shift at JFK International, telling TSA agents to focus on checking bags and leaving the pat-downs to him.

"It's the least I can do," said Clinton. "When I heard there were thousands of bodies that needed to be felt, I simply answered the call. Does that make me a hero? Well, step into my line here, and I'll let you be the judge."

According to airport officials, no one has ever seen a happier, more willing TSA agent than Clinton. "He was born for this," said local man Roger McCabe. "It's like Clinton has been doing this his whole life. No one even had to train him. He just stepped right in and got to patting."

At publishing time, Clinton had asked if there were any TSA agents who might be willing to handle patting down "the uggos."


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1 posted on 03/16/2026 8:14:24 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

It must be fun sitting around making these up. “Hey, I’ve got one, how about this?!!”


2 posted on 03/16/2026 8:15:33 AM PDT by SaxxonWoods (Annnd....I voted for this too!)
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To: V_TWIN

3 posted on 03/16/2026 8:16:07 AM PDT by al_c (Democrats: Party over Common Sense)
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To: V_TWIN

And Hillary offered to get rid of any confiscated wine.


4 posted on 03/16/2026 8:20:30 AM PDT by Opinionated Blowhard (When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
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To: V_TWIN

“Good Morning Ma’am. May I proceed to ‘wand’ you with my equipment? Thank you for your patience!”


5 posted on 03/16/2026 8:21:06 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: lee martell
Ready for your body cavity search ma'am? clinton-fingerwag
6 posted on 03/16/2026 8:26:22 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America....so great even the people that hate it won't leave)
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To: V_TWIN
Bill throws Hillary under the Biden.



7 posted on 03/16/2026 8:28:50 AM PDT by plain talk
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To: V_TWIN

The BEE does it again...lol


8 posted on 03/16/2026 8:31:24 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: V_TWIN

Bill has not looked that healthy in a long time.


9 posted on 03/16/2026 8:38:48 AM PDT by ronniesgal ( so is it okay that I said that??? GO TRUMP GO!!!!)
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To: ronniesgal

Last pic I saw...He looked terrible...and very frail.


10 posted on 03/16/2026 8:48:07 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: V_TWIN

In 6 days, I flew from Detroit to New Orleans then to Miami then back to Detroit.

TSA took a total of 10 minutes combined for all 3 flights.
No Problem.

Feb 27th - March 5th, 2026.


11 posted on 03/16/2026 8:57:51 AM PDT by MotorCityBuck (Keep the Change You Filthy Animal !)
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To: All

According to airport officials, no one has ever seen a happier, more willing TSA agent than Clinton. “He was born for this. It’s like Clinton has been doing this his whole life. No one even had to train him. He just stepped right in and got to doing the patting.”


lol


12 posted on 03/16/2026 9:07:46 AM PDT by Liz (Jonathan Swift: Government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slaveryen .)
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To: V_TWIN

Don’t touch my junk!


13 posted on 03/16/2026 9:36:31 AM PDT by Track9 (Liberal tears make me smile. Thank you DJT!)
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