Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Ultra-Woke Frankenstein Flick ‘The Bride!’ Bombs at Box Office

Breitbart ^ | 7 Mar 2026 | John Nolte

[Rummyfan]

Before we get started, I’d like to point out to the useless sycophants in the entertainment media that what I’m doing here is how it’s done.

You see, the news that The Bride! is a super-woke spin on The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) and Bonnie and Clyde (1967) has been obvious for some time and became blatantly obvious when the reviews poured in — especially the “positive” reviews, because even the “positive” reviews were “positive” in a grudging and backhanded sort of way.

So, yes, I wanted The Bride! to fail at the box office, because woke delivers lousy art and even worse storytelling, and the only way to make it stop is for it to fail at the box office.

But, Useless Sycophants in the Entertainment Media, did you see what we didn’t do? What we didn’t do is what you useless sycophants did with Melania. We didn’t wishcast by writing piece after piece about how Bride! would die at the box office. Why? Because I try not to make a fool of myself, and one of the easiest ways to make a fool of yourself is to predict the box office with such certainty — which is what you useless sycophants did with Melania, something all Normal People thank you for.

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TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: bombsatboxoffice; likethemelaniamovie

[Rummyfan]

Make lousy movies and they'll bomb. For course Gyllenhall will blame it on sexism and chauvinism, ignoring the fact that she spent $100 million to produce a piece of garbage.

The Bride - It Sucks! (The Critical Drinker)

And may I say that Maggie Gyllenhall is not aging well.

[desertsolitaire]

I realize she’s an actress but I’like to see her box.

[SauronOfMordor]

She’s 48, and looks 68.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

She does not look to bad to me. What is she 55? 60?

:looks it up:

Ok, I was off by a bit.

Yeah, probably should lay off the cigarettes. And drink some more orange juice.

[MIchaelTArchangel]

You misspelt “Maggot” as “Maggie” in the title of the article.

[DAC21]

That is about as flattering of picture to will find of Maggie. AI worked OT to clean it up, the electricity charge will be astronomical.

[Retrofitted]

Hmmmm that or Jennifer Beals in 1985’s “The Bride”? Gee, so torn on that one. lol

[ducttape45]

I didn’t like her in “The Dark Knight” taking over for Katie Holmes.

[Rummyfan]

I didn’t like her in “The Dark Knight” ...

Nor i.

[Right_Wing_Madman]

[Leaning Right]

The problem with The Bride! is obvious.
They didn’t use enough exclamation points.

The Bride!!! probably would have been a big hit.

I really should open my own Hollywood consulting agency.
🤔

[MinorityRepublican]

And may I say that Maggie Gyllenhall is not aging well.

Too much sun? Cigarettes? That was the typical look for Americans 40-50 years ago.

[MinorityRepublican]

I didn’t like her in “The Dark Knight” taking over for Katie Holmes.

My only complaint.

They should have offered Holmes more money.

[ansel12]

The earliest versions of these movies Frankenstein, the Werewolf, Dracula, White Zombie were the best and the most sensitive.

WHITE ZOMBIE (Opening Sequence [CHANT]) (1932
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nrT0Pc_FhM

[Beowulf9]

So, what happens after you bomb in Hollywood? Career over?

[Trump_Triumphant]

She was the weak link in an otherwise great movie.

[bantam]

This chick is a freak!
Good, glad to hear it bombed!!

[Leaning Right]

> So, what happens after you bomb in Hollywood? Career over? <

She’ll probably get a job as a cinema professor at some liberal college. Not the kind of money she’s used to. But it will pay the rent.

[joshua c]

nothing wrong with maggie other than her brain

she and the wokesters should ignore the ratings

and make more movies like this

and the oscar people should load them up with awards

[Bullish]

That they can somehow afford to blow 100m on a POS like this just goes to show that Hollywood has too much money and way too many people with stupid ideas.