Posted on 02/05/2026 3:59:48 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?
Isabella and Lorenzo are siblings who have faced financial difficulties throughout adulthood. Both are in their 30s — Isabella’s a divorced mom of three, Lorenzo’s a married father of two — and they’re barely making ends meet. Let’s say they have only a few thousand dollars in savings between them.
She inherited a home and a substantial amount of money when her own mother died, making her a multi-millionaire, and she was also the beneficiary of a life insurance policy when her husband (Isabella and Lorenzo’s father) passed away five years ago. After her husband died, the mother sold the family home, which had greatly appreciated in value since they bought it 40 years ago.
That’s why Isabella was shocked when, on a recent phone call, her mother told her that she planned to spend every cent she had before she died — leaving nothing in her will to her two children. Her mother said she wanted to enjoy her golden years to the fullest and had crafted a “die with zero” budget that would ensure she spent all her money.
Isabella thinks their mom is being selfish, while Lorenzo is worried she’s being reckless. Should the siblings confront their mother about her retirement plans?
Some billionaires have famously declared that they won’t leave their substantial fortune to their children.
Laurene Powell Jobs, wife of the late Steve Jobs, intends to pass on her estimated $14.9 billion to charity. Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan have set up the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative for research and intend to give 99% of their Meta shares away. Warren Buffett and Bill Gates have also famously stated that their children should make their own way in the world, with Gates noting, “leaving kids massive amounts of money is not a favor to them
(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...
How much older if I may ask, and is she your biological daughter? If you are a healthy 70 y/o you could have at least 10-15 years left at which time you daughter would be a young adult and hopefully taking care of herself. If your ‘younger’ wife is out of the workforce for 15-20 it could be hard, depending on her line of work, to get back in if she’s in her 50’s or older.
I’m faced with a similar situation, sans the child. 32-year age difference. I have insisted that my wife stay gainfully employed though it’s not necessary, because someday she’ll be on her own again. When that time comes, I want her to be able to take care of herself as she did before we met. She doesn’t work full time, but she does earn her own spending money and stays in the loop.
If I’m not mistaken (which has happened), it was Paul McCartney who said, leave the kids enough to do something with it, but not so much that they can do nothing.
Or words to that effect.
On a personal note, my grandparents mostly suffered to make a lot of money. They succeeded, to put it mildly. My parents respected their efforts and were grateful. They wanted their kids (like me) to have a work ethic though deprived of the hard knocks that usually form it. So they gave me good advice on how to make money, and I took their advice.
That’s the key. Take good advice. Listen to old people, they’re very smart.
As to “Isabella thinks their mom is being selfish, while Lorenzo is worried she’s being reckless.” They could both be right, or both be wrong. Maybe Mom just wants them to believe it, for whatever reason. Maybe Mom’s getting dementia. They should keep an eye on her, mend wounds in their relationship with Mom, and watch out for predators who can easily latch onto rich lonely women.
Most of all, what happens to Mom’s money is not the central issue in their relationship with her.
And, if Mom is sincere here, she might want to think real hard about what happens if she outlives her money.
Yes, I recall that. My aunt took care of granddad until he passed, but that ended with them.
I had a slow start in the work field where I could only put a few dollars away each year for retirement. Our daughter was convinced by school staff and peers that I should pay for her college. My answer was no. I reasoned if I paid for her college our retirement fund would get a several year delay in starting, if at all and when I retired she would not take care of us.
I was right, the trend today is us old fogies are on are own. I wound up with a fair retirement. I have no regrets, however she is still bitter over it. To the contrary we have an excellent relationship with our other daughter that did not get brainwashed by going to college.
“””She thought we should put him in a nursing home and let Medicare cover it.”””
I believe that means you have to sell everything he owns.
My son is disabled due to brain cancer. He doesn’t know what month this is. I am his legal guardian and conservator.
As it is now I can take care of him here. I asked the lawyer what happens when I can’t and he needs to go to an assisted living facility. Sell his house, cash in the life insurance, 401Ks and sell everything he owns. Keep three grand.
Food for thought.
Proverbs 13:22 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
The Biblical command is to honor your father and your mother that your days may be long. It’s the only command with a promise. The obligation to care for one’s parents in their old age comes along with a benefit. You get the double portion of the inheritance.
We see this in the parable of the prodigal son. The other son, described as the faithful son, asks what about me? What am I, chopped liver? To which the father says, don’t worry. All that I have is yours. But, right now, we’re celebrating the return of your brother.
We also see this in Jesus himself. There on the cross, he saw his mother. He was in no condition to care for her in her old age. Being the Son of God, he saw neither of his brothers would be able to care for her either. So, he said to his beloved disciple John behold your mother. And he said to his mother, behold your son. And, John, we know and Jesus knew, lived to old age and, so, was able to care for his mother.
Many in the present generation act like they have no family obligations. They don’t visit their parents. They’re unwilling to take-in their parents when their parents lose the ability to live on their own. Yet, they expect an inheritance. Here’s what I say, you don’t obey the first part of the commandment, don’t expect the promise in the second part. Conversely, you don’t provide as you may be able to your children, don’t expect them to honor you. It’s a two-way street.
As it is said, “expectations are deferred resentments”.
As it is said, “expectations are deferred resentments”.
It’s her money. I’ve actually encouraged my parents to spend every dime they have. Of course they won’t.
The problem with inheriting money from your parents is that you run out of parents. IOW the source of money goes away. If you are expecting money to come from a family member, you probably are not very financially astute.
I have also found that giving people money usually ends up with them hating you if you ever stop.
Can’t resist this one…
Yes she’s being selfish AND no, they’re not entitled to anything. Welcome to Planet Earth.
When someone in a position like that goes forth to try and spend it all, they really mean “with other people.” They don’t sequester themselves in a mansion ordering takeout; they’re out with people doing, eating, drinking, whatever.
Anyone who’s seen that kind of person knows they attract lots of money friends who are glad to have a great time at her expense, but who contribute little or nothing back. So: selfish and probably foolish too, usually insecure and wanting positive attention.
That said even the best kids are *entitled* to zero. They can’t make this mom do anything. Also, stories like this come from one perspective and we don’t know what else lies unsaid — too often deep bitter rifts.
Assuming they’re on the up and up the best move is loving; invite the rich mom to kid events, to birthdays, to holidays, etc. and don’t make it expected that moneybags will pony up. If mom gets her lovies from family reciprocation will come in its own time.
In the meantime these kids should read King Lear and take comfort.
That’s a nice story, did he walk uphill both ways too. BTW families do not have 14 children anymore. I had two and it was expensive as hell.
Paying for a Cocaine addiction?
Yes, I “deserve” some of Elon Musk’s billions (because)...?
“God bless the child that’s got his own...” sung by Billie Holliday and MANY others. It was written by Billie Holiday and Arthur Herzog Jr. in 1939.
God blesses those who provide for themselves !
Listen to the various versions of the song and you will get it.
We already have too many “idle rich” in this country, people who have no appreciation as to how that wealth is created, and they tend to assuage their guilt, by donating to causes like “Black Lives Matter, Inc.”
I know some trust fund kids and they are all commies. They post “F capitalism” while their investments keep them going.
They were dirt poor, had a farm and raised every single thing they ate. The matriarch would sit the babies on a blanket while she and the other children would pick cotton together. They didn’t have indoor plumbing until the early 1970’s. Mother-in-law was one of 12.
I know some trust fund kids and they are all commies. They post “F capitalism” while their investments keep them going.
Yeah, if I recall correctly, Medicare would require selling most everything to cover assisted living or memory care, but not a nursing home.
I would not put my worst enemy in any of the nursing homes around me. My sister was in one for rehab and it was third world conditions, just awful.
Yep, and his brother only took him for one week the whole time (and that was before his dementia had gotten bad).
Here is the saddest thing, the brother is a pastor and the sister is a missionary (overseas but we set her up a way to FaceTime her dad). To this day, my younger son is so resentful of “the church” because of their behaviors and he did help us. He is coming around now, at 23, seeing not all believers behave this way
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.