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Is my mom selfish? She wants to spend her millions before she dies, but my brother and I are broke. Do we deserve an inheritance?
moneywise ^ | Feb 4, 2026 | Monique Danao

Posted on 02/05/2026 3:59:48 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?

Isabella and Lorenzo are siblings who have faced financial difficulties throughout adulthood. Both are in their 30s — Isabella’s a divorced mom of three, Lorenzo’s a married father of two — and they’re barely making ends meet. Let’s say they have only a few thousand dollars in savings between them.

She inherited a home and a substantial amount of money when her own mother died, making her a multi-millionaire, and she was also the beneficiary of a life insurance policy when her husband (Isabella and Lorenzo’s father) passed away five years ago. After her husband died, the mother sold the family home, which had greatly appreciated in value since they bought it 40 years ago.

That’s why Isabella was shocked when, on a recent phone call, her mother told her that she planned to spend every cent she had before she died — leaving nothing in her will to her two children. Her mother said she wanted to enjoy her golden years to the fullest and had crafted a “die with zero” budget that would ensure she spent all her money.

Isabella thinks their mom is being selfish, while Lorenzo is worried she’s being reckless. Should the siblings confront their mother about her retirement plans?

Some billionaires have famously declared that they won’t leave their substantial fortune to their children.

Laurene Powell Jobs, wife of the late Steve Jobs, intends to pass on her estimated $14.9 billion to charity. Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan have set up the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative for research and intend to give 99% of their Meta shares away. Warren Buffett and Bill Gates have also famously stated that their children should make their own way in the world, with Gates noting, “leaving kids massive amounts of money is not a favor to them

(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: adultchildren; estateplanning; inheritance; retirement
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To: LilFarmer

“””’I would not put my worst enemy in any of the nursing homes around me. My sister was in one for rehab and it was third world conditions, just awful.”””

Copy that. My wife spent some time at one after a surgery.


101 posted on 02/05/2026 7:15:58 AM PST by shelterguy
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To: LilFarmer
I would not put my worst enemy in any of the nursing homes around me.

Quality varies. Now when it comes to medicaid nursing homes or LTC, you get what you pay for...or more accurately, what taxpayers pay for.

102 posted on 02/05/2026 7:17:30 AM PST by 1Old Pro
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To: 1Old Pro

Not around me, we searched a 20 mile radius. We didn’t want to go further out because we still wanted to be able to check in every day.

The only care homes that were half decent were private, and cost $6000-10,000 a month.

However, after my FIL fell and broke his hip and had surgery, we were able to get 1 PT, 1 OT and 1 nurse and visits and equipment for a month. That was with the assumption I could provide all his other care and I did.


103 posted on 02/05/2026 7:22:50 AM PST by LilFarmer (Isaiah 54:17)
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To: LilFarmer

*weekly visits


104 posted on 02/05/2026 7:23:36 AM PST by LilFarmer (Isaiah 54:17)
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To: Jonty30

All absolutely true And correct. The foundation well cares for the heirs.

Nothing but virtue signaling.

On the mother and her wealth, her’s to spend without waste or falling victim to fraud. I won’t let my kids starve or go needy but that is the limit. I told them that a very long time ago and they understand what I said. They are fine on their own.


105 posted on 02/05/2026 7:25:45 AM PST by Sequoyah101
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To: A_perfect_lady

I think we just don’t know enough. I think people who don’t leave anything to their children are potentially very selfish, but on the other hand the children who are broke in their 30s might have contributed to the hostility and also could have also lived very irresponsible lifes that the mother doesn’t want to enable.

Not enough information to say who is at fault.


106 posted on 02/05/2026 7:33:20 AM PST by Truthsearcher
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To: Tell It Right
A lady I know, who I went to high school with over 50 years ago, is now worth several million dollars. She told me the stories of her and her husband really struggling during many of those years, and even having to live in public housing to get through a layoff.

I asked her how she was so well off now in her retirement years. Her two-word answer was "compound interest". Even though they had to draw down their savings a couple of times, she still ended up in a very good position.

107 posted on 02/05/2026 7:36:09 AM PST by The Duke (Not without incident)
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To: Truthsearcher

That is true, but what about the grandchildren? What are they guilty of? If the children were problematic, she could still set up trust funds or college funds for the grandkids. The fact that she apparently is not, makes me think that she’s the problem. I mean, a lot of people in their 30s right now are struggling, what with student loans and massive lay-offs... unless I hear something compelling, I’ll stick with my take: she’s selfish.


108 posted on 02/05/2026 7:38:41 AM PST by A_perfect_lady (The greatest wealth is to live content with little. -Plato)
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To: quantim
One does not ‘deserve’ an inheritance, one earns an inheritance

Just to play devil's advocate, it doesn't seem like the mom earned it either.

109 posted on 02/05/2026 7:43:42 AM PST by Ranxerox
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

I have learned to always test the people. I would lend a small amt money to guys out of prison in the prison ministry I was involved in. I usually didn’t get it back but it was valuable information, worth the cost.

I found some good ones with the method too.


110 posted on 02/05/2026 7:46:19 AM PST by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere)
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

“leaving kids massive amounts of money is not a favor to them


leading massive amounts of money to a charity is not a good thing either most times.

Churches most times us it to determine the thickness of the padding on the church pews.


111 posted on 02/05/2026 7:49:00 AM PST by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere)
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To: Jonty30
My grandfather was living independently by the time he was 8 years old.

Your grandfather was Sluggo?!


112 posted on 02/05/2026 7:55:36 AM PST by Dr. Sivana ("Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

I think the kids have a point.


113 posted on 02/05/2026 8:01:37 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn... )
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To: Hot Tabasco

She will make it back but not a virgin.


114 posted on 02/05/2026 8:05:20 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn... )
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To: LilFarmer
I would not put my worst enemy in any of the nursing homes around me. My sister was in one for rehab and it was third world conditions, just awful.

My sister believed her MIL's nursing home killed the women less than a week after she entered. I told her to give me the name of the place so if I ever have be placed in a nursing home I'd go there.
115 posted on 02/05/2026 8:07:14 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage? (Drain the Swamp. Build the Wall)
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To: Uncle Miltie

Maybe it was easy last century.


116 posted on 02/05/2026 8:08:06 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn... )
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To: Dr. Sivana

Pretty much. He got tired of doing what his mom wanted and he left home. In his young years, he mostly worked on the CN Rail was a water boy for the railway workers laying rail.


117 posted on 02/05/2026 8:10:54 AM PST by Jonty30 (Why did a being, who claimed to be an angel, choke Muhammad? Because everybody wanted to.)
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To: quantim

“One does not ‘deserve’ an inheritance, one earns an inheritance.”

I don’t think either of those are correct.

If Mom wants to give all her money to transgender monkey preserves she has a total right to do so—regardless of whether the kids were wonderful or terrible or anywhere in between.

The kids have no “rights” and don’t “deserve” anything.

Part of being a responsible adult is understanding that reality.


118 posted on 02/05/2026 8:12:19 AM PST by cgbg ("Your identity is how power treats you.")
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To: Jonty30

This is how my parents were. “School or job - you have rent to pay!”

Until I started dialysis at 21. I was out of the work force for about 15 years, in part because I’d been so sick and in part because nobody hiring was offering health insurance. Kind of important for a transplant recipient.

Sadly, I couldn’t go to school either. I tried and it didn’t work out well, as I missed way too much class. This was before all of the colleges offered remote classes; you could only take a few courses online, and the ones I did take still required you to show up for tests, and that was equally problematic. I couldn’t skip dialysis to go take a test.

I think I’ll be stuck until I find a better job or manage to finish nursing school. If I didn’t have inheritance as an option, I’d be screwed.


119 posted on 02/05/2026 8:24:46 AM PST by Tacrolimus1mg (Do no harm, but take no sh!t.)
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To: Tacrolimus1mg

I know everybody is in different circumstances, where we can’t have perfection on this side of eternity. I just think in principle, the aim should be to put our descendants in a better spot than we ourselves were in if possible.

I don’t mean to come across as if I’m condemning anybody, but I think it is better in the long run if we are doing that.


120 posted on 02/05/2026 8:38:34 AM PST by Jonty30 (Why did a being, who claimed to be an angel, choke Muhammad? Because everybody wanted to.)
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