U.S. Offers To Trade Its Liberal Women For Iranian Women

Babylon Bee. ^ | 01/13/26 | staff

[Kid Shelleen]

As part of ongoing efforts to improve things in both countries, the United States reportedly made an official diplomatic offer to trade all of its liberal women for Iranian women.

According to highly placed sources, representatives of the State Department, including Secretary Marco Rubio, had engaged in high-level talks with officials from the Iranian government to lay out parameters for a trade that would send every liberal American woman to Iran in exchange for Persian women.

"It's a deal that makes too much sense not to happen," Rubio said in a brief statement to reporters. "In the United States, we're overrun with unpleasant, objectionable, hateful women of multi-colored hair. In Iran, they seek to oppress the rights of the beautiful Persian women

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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

[Kid Shelleen]

In Iran the liberal womean would get a chance to wear real life hand maid outfits.

[Da Coyote]

No sane male of any country would accept American liberal women. No wait, I forgot about the DemocRAT party, our journalists, and corrupt universities. (Cue song “American Woman”.)

[Right_Wing_Madman]

This sounds like a deal Alexander the Great would have proposed.

[lgjhn23]

It’s the Bee.
But, yeah!!!! It’s a heck of a good idea!!!!
Wej could even make it a 3:1 ratio and still come out ahead....LOL

[TheThirdRuffian]

Pretty sure we’d be committing a war crime.

[MinorityRepublican]

Iranian women will become liberal women in USA.

American women in Iran will become Iranian, they'll adapt to their culture and religion.

[Opinionated Blowhard]

I'll take that trade.

[Z28.310]

Yes please

[DannyTN]

1) Make sure they are Christian.
2) Do psychological profiles on them and weed out those with problems.
3) Get Trump who ran beauty pageants to come up with a scoring system for physical beauty. Maybe work with AI on this.
4) Do the same for pleasantness, work ethic, etc.

5) Make the standards high. Then extend the same deal to Russia and Ukraine.

[Libloather]

Ahem. I should get royalties.

We’ll swap our commies for their freedom fighters. No one gets hurt. Sounds like a deal.
1 posted on 1/12/2026, 7:47:58 AM by Libloather

[escapefromboston]

I’ve met a handful of Iranian women and they were fairly attractive. I think an H1b visa system for unmarried Persian women would be great idea. They come to America for five years and if they can marry an American they can stay, if not they get sent back (and sent back if they get divorced too)
It will help with America’s Hoeflation problem

[sjmjax]

I'll take that trade.

Same here. I’d offer two for one. Maybe even three for one!

[FLT-bird]

OH MY GOD YES! Where do we sign up for this?????

We get chicks who are thin, without tats, without nose rings, without purple hair, who have not taken on an entire football team and who do not hate men.

The Mullahs get literal hell.

[Obadiah]

Wait. So that means we would trade overweight, psychotic women for beautiful Persian women?

[If You Want It Fixed - Fix It]

Dreaming.....

[Savage Beast]

"U.S. Offers To Trade Its Liberal Women For Iranian Women"

Or anything else...

...or.....

Oh nevermind the trade. Just take 'em.

[Navy Patriot]

Although The Bee uses "Iranian Women" in the Title of the article, they more accurately use Persian Women entirely in the text, to wit: In Iran, they seek to oppress the rights of the beautiful Persian women.

The Bee staff is more aware than they are given credit for.

[Governor Dinwiddie]

I'd take that trade faster than you can say Jim Robinson.

[Allegra]

[cowboyusa]

STOP CALLING THEM LIBERALS, THEY ATE REDS!