Trump Gives Terrorists Gift Of Meeting Allah For Christmas

The Bee ^ | December 27, 2025 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

NIGERIA — President Trump has given dozens of ISIS terrorists the gift of getting to meet Allah for Christmas.

After giving much thought to what they would like, Trump decided there was simply no better gift than sending them to meet Allah.

"A one-way ticket to Allah! They're going to love this," said Trump as he wrote "Merry Christmas" on the missiles destined for Nigeria. "No one gives better gifts then me, your favorite President. It's a beautiful gift, very expensive, let me tell you. I spent millions of dollars on it, but it will all be worth it for the looks on their faces. It's so nice, I don't think anyone will be regifting this one."

Dubbed "Operation Santa Trump", the military helped deliver Trump's presents to several sites in Nigeria with incredible precision. "It feels good, giving back," said Air Force pilot Lieutenant Dan "Firefly" Rogers. "We all need help sometimes getting away from thinking about ourselves, and the whole commercialization of Christmas. When you pull the trigger to send gifts like that, it brings the meaning of Christmas home."

At publishing time, the dead terrorists had discovered that Allah had a different name and was not quite what they had in mind.

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TOPICS: Education
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

[Navy Patriot]

President Trump gives the most thoughtful gifts!

[PTBAA]

Missile (landing at your) toe. Now kiss your ass goodbye, murderers!

[xp38]

In the spirit of letting Hans Gruber go at the top of the Nakatomi Tower.

[Navy Patriot]

Thanks, Thirty Eight!

[MtnClimber]

I hope the missile had a pretty bow. It is such a considerate gift. The Trump haters should be embarrassed.

[StAnDeliver]

Boko Haramhock and ISIS-WestUngaBunga, jacked to the gills on Captagon ...

"Hey, Bakura Bumbaboogala, save me some of that goat, don't wear it"

*****WOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHH...BOOOOOOOOM!******

[Sirius Lee]

FR’s muzzloid tucker faction is not going to have a good time with today’s Bee.

[higgmeister]

But actually when you think about it, why not give them what they want?   As you say, it is a really thoughtful gift.

[No name given]

Well said.

[shaggy eel]

But actually when you think about it, why not give them what they want?

,,, what, eight year old wives and a bacon-free diet? Nah.

[Governor Dinwiddie]

“Come to mama, you big bad jihadi you!”

[dayglored]

I was just about to post "And they learned that all but one of their 72 virgins were Helen Thomas. The last one was Rosie O'Donut."

But you beat me to it! :-)

[Governor Dinwiddie]

LOL. "Rosie" — "Hobson's Choice".

👍

[metmom]

Nothing like giving people what they want for Christmas.

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

I imagine more of a Jack T. Chick ending for them.

[TonyM]

It’s time for Santa Trump to load up his sleigh with lots of toys and goodies to drop on Iran. I hope we are smart enough to also drop them on their planned new capital to the south since Tehran is already daed due to a lack of water.