Posted on 11/20/2025 5:28:56 AM PST by Red Badger
Across TikTok and university campuses, young men are rewriting what masculinity looks like today, sometimes with matcha lattes, Labubus, film cameras and thrifted tote bags.
At Toronto Metropolitan University, a “performative male” contest recently drew a sizeable crowd by poking fun at this new TikTok archetype of masculinity. The “performative man” is a new Gen Z term describing young men who deliberately craft a soft, sensitive, emotionally aware aesthetic, signalling the rejection of “toxic masculinity.”
At “performative male” contests, participants compete for laughs and for women’s attention by reciting poetry, showing off thrifted fashion or handing out feminine hygiene products to show they’re one of the “good” guys.
Similar events have been held from San Francisco to London, capturing a wider shift in how Gen Z navigates gender. Research shows that young men are experimenting with gender online, but audiences often respond with humour or skepticism.
This raises an important question: in a moment when “toxic masculinity” is being called out, why do public responses to softer versions of masculinity shift between curiosity, irony and judgment?
Why Gen Z calls it “performative”
Gen Z’s suspicions toward these men may be partially due to broader shifts in online culture.
As research on social media shows, younger users value authenticity as a sign of trust. If millennials perfected the “curated self” of filtered selfies and highlight reels, Gen Z has made a virtue of realness and spontaneity.
Studies of TikTok culture find that many users share and consume more emotionally “raw” content that push against the more filtered aesthetics of Instagram.
Against this backdrop, the “performative man” stands out because he looks like he’s trying too hard to be sincere. The matcha latte, the film camera, the tote bag — these are products, not values. Deep, thoughtful people, the logic goes, shouldn’t have to announce it by carrying around a Moleskine notebook and a copy of The Bell Jar.
But as philosopher Judith Butler explained, all gender is “performative” in that it’s made real through repeated actions. Sociologists Candace West and Don Zimmerman call this “doing gender” — the everyday work we do to communicate we’re “men” or “women.”
This framing helps explain why the “performative man” can appear insincere, not because he’s fake, but because gender is always performed and policed, destined to look awkward before it seems “natural.”
If the ‘performative man’ appears insincere, it may not be because he’s fake, but because gender is destined to look awkward before it seems ‘natural.’ (Unsplash)
===========================================================================
On this end, the mockery of “performative men” acts as a way of keeping men in the “man box” — the narrow confines of acceptable masculinity. Studies show that from school to work, people judge men more harshly than women when they step outside gender norms. In this way, the mockery sends a message to all men that there are limits to how they can express themselves.
When progress still looks like privilege
However, many researchers caution that new masculine styles may still perpetuate male privilege.
In the post-#MeToo era, many men are rethinking what it means to be a man now that “toxic masculinity” has been critiqued. The calls for more “healthy masculinity” and positive male role models reveal a culture searching for new ways of being a man, yet also uncertain about what that would look like.
In this context, many public commentators argue these men are just rebranding themselves as self-aware, feminist-adjacent and “not like other guys” to seek better dating opportunities.
Sociologists Tristan Bridges and C.J. Pascoe would call this “hybrid masculinity” — a term that describes how privileged men consolidate status by adopting progressive or queer aesthetics to reap rewards and preserve their authority.
A 2022 content analysis of popular TikTok male creators found a similar pattern: many creators blurred gender boundaries through fashion and self-presentation yet reinforced norms of whiteness, muscularity and heterosexual desirability.
This echoes many critiques of “performative men”: they use the language of feminism and therapy without altering their approach to sharing space, attention or authority.
Can these small experiments matter?
Yet as sociologist Francine Deutsch argues in her theory of “undoing gender,” change often begins with partial, imperfect acts. Studies show that copying and experimenting with gender are key ways people learn new gender roles.
On the surface, there’s nothing inherently harmful about men getting into journaling, vinyl records or latte art.
In fact, youth and anti-radicalization research suggests these could be practical tools in countering online radicalization and isolation, another issue affecting young men.
The ‘performative male’ trend reflects our own contradictions: We want men to change but critique them when they try; we ask for vulnerability yet recoil when it looks forced. (Unsplash)
================================================================================
What would change look like?
The truth is we may not yet have the tools to recognize change, given that much of our world is created to be shared and consumed on social media, and male dominance seems hard to change.
A positive sign is that, rather than being defensive, many male creators are leaning into the joke and using parody as a way to explore what a more sensitive man might look like.
And perhaps the “performative male” trend holds up a mirror to our own contradictions. We demand authenticity but consume performance; we beg men to change but critique them when they try; we ask for vulnerability yet recoil when it looks too forced.
The “performative male” may look ironic, but he’s also experimenting with what it means to be a man today.
Whether that experiment leads to lasting change or just another online trend remains unclear, but it’s a glimpse of how masculinity is being rewritten, latte by latte.
Dear FRiends,
We need your continuing support to keep FR funded. Your donations are our sole source of funding. No sugar daddies, no advertisers, no paid memberships, no commercial sales, no gimmicks, no tax subsidies. No spam, no pop-ups, no ad trackers.
If you enjoy using FR and agree it's a worthwhile endeavor, please consider making a contribution today:
Click here: to donate by Credit Card
Or here: to donate by PayPal
Or by mail to: Free Republic, LLC - PO Box 9771 - Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you very much and God bless you,
Jim
Ministry of the the church.
Keep women out of trying to teach masculinity and let healthy males teach it. Being a Christian warrior is the best example of healthy masculinity.
Oh, that's nothing new. Those are just "fags".
Hell no!
Well, we don’t know which ones, but some of them are actually acting as the Scarlet Pimpernel, faking a Sir Percy Blakeney-type persona in public.
That was my first thought before trying to tread water through this multi fathomed article: our old friend :
Pajama Boy with his lukewarm cup of latte.
Everyone is performative on monetized social media platforms. Even the “crash out” videos where someone is just losing it online are staged for clicks and monetization. In some ways, you have to give the Devils their due. If they can make money being “performative” online, why not? It beats digging ditches for a living.
At “performative male” contests, participants compete for laughs and for women’s attention by reciting poetry, showing off thrifted fashion or handing out feminine hygiene products to show they’re one of the “good” guys.
“Just mention Modern Art, civil rights or folk music and you’re in like Flynn”
The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle. The flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true!.................
And you are vegan................
Popular only because non-soyboys are outright banned or have their channels throttled.
The Left abhors masculinity which exposes the flaws of their matriarchal societies.
Chamomile tea..............
The only toxic masculinity is the masculinity in women.
Ha that reminds me:
Below is the result of a writing assignment given by an English professor from the University of Colorado. A “tandem story” was to be written by two students, one male, one female.
The story was to be compiled in alternating paragraphs via email, with CC’s to the professor. There was to be no communication between the writers aside from each successive email. The story would end when both participants agreed a successful conclusion had been achieved.
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gerry)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic, tea-drenched bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to GeoStation 17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He died almost immediately. But not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who ever had feelings for him. Soon afterward, Earth stopped pointless hostilities toward the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read online one morning. The news simultaneously excited and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no cell phones, no Internet to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at the beauty around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.
(Gerry)
Little did she know she had less than 10 seconds to live. The wimpy peaceniks who’d pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for hostile empires determined to destroy the human race. Just hours after the passage of the treaty, alien ships were on course for Earth with enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. Their lithium fusion missiles entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, was rocked by the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent geek.
(Gerry)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other F______ TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I’m an air headed bimbo who reads too many romance novels!”
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
(Gerry)
Bitch!
(Rebecca)
F___ YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
(Gerry)
In your dreams, ‘Ho. Go drink some more f_____ tea.
(Rebecca)
I hate you. Don’t ever talk to me again.
(TEACHER)
A+ I really liked this one.
The return of the metrosexual.
Keep women out of trying to teach masculinity and let healthy males teach it. Being a Christian warrior is the best example of healthy masculinity.
_________________________________
As a member of the male gender it never occurred to me that I had to behave or act in a manly way. It was natural, inbreed, and instinctive to me and its kept me in good stead for more than 80 years - now still happily married for more than fifty years, raised by example two children who are now married and productive offspring, served my country for more than 30 years. I will never pretend to be something or somebody I’m not.
My last text would be “Enjoy you old age with 55 cats.”...............
As they sang in falsetto voices................
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.