Shoe Manufacturers Rush To Design New Nickel Loafers

BabylonBee.com ^ | Nov 14, 2025 | The Babylon Bee

[E. Pluribus Unum]

https://babylonbee.com/news/shoe-manufacturers-rush-to-design-new-nickel-loafers

U.S. — With the penny no longer being minted, shoe manufacturers announced that they were working hard to replace the old penny loafer slip-on shoe design with an exciting new nickel loafer.

Penny loafers got their name from teenagers in the 1950s who placed pennies in the leather slots stitched across the saddle of the shoes. But with pennies now obsolete, shoe companies were rushing to design the world's first nickel loafer.

"Things change, and we have to change with them," said shoe manufacturer Tom Shoemaker. "Pennies may no longer be in production, but we can't just stop making loafers. It's OK. Due to inflation, increasing the worth of the coin being placed in the loafers makes sense, anyway."

However, it appeared that the design process had proven significantly difficult for shoe manufacturers. "I design many of the shoes, but none have been more challenging than the nickel loafer," said Bob Gucci of Gucci. "How do you design a shoe that is exactly like the penny loafer but screams nickel? It is difficult. You might assume that it just means making a bigger slot that fits a larger coin, but it's more than that. Actually, now that I think about it, that's probably all there is to it."

According to sources, the demand for nickel loafers was surprisingly high. Dozens of people are reportedly adamant that they need a new slip-on shoe to replace their penny loafers. "I can't wear these penny loafers anymore, they're so old-fashioned," said Carl Haven, a 98-year-old man. "I demand nickel loafers! Nickels!"

At publishing time, President Donald Trump had announced that all coins would be phased out, leading to the design of the bitcoin loafer.

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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: someonesbutthurt; spammingfr

[thinden]

Inflation hits