Posted on 11/10/2025 8:07:27 AM PST by Navy Patriot
What had been hailed as one of the wisest decisions of all time was declared null and void today, as a federal judge overturned King Solomon's verdict and ordered a baby from a recent maternity dispute to be cut in two.
People throughout Israel had praised the king for his shrewd judgment in the case, in which two women each claimed to be the baby boy's rightful mother. Solomon had wisely suggested that the woman who was more willing to give up her rights to the child than see him come to harm was the baby's true mother, but a federal judge ruled that the decision was not legal under Israel's constitution and that the baby must be chopped in half.
"The king has no authority to make this order," said Judge Ahithophel the Boasbergite. "Just because Solomon is king over all of Israel and sits on the throne of his father David doesn't mean he has the power to tell people what to do. It is my opinion that he overreached his jurisdiction in this case, thereby making his ruling to award the child to that woman illegal. Thus, the previous judgment stands. Cut ‘im in half."
King Solomon was outraged by what he called "judicial activism" and made his feelings known in a proclamation shouted by his Truth Social crier:
"THIS CROOKED JUDGE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S DOING. AS THE KING OF ISRAEL, I HAVE FULL AUTHORITY TO MAKE ALL RULINGS AND DECISIONS AS I SEE FIT. THIS IS JUST ANOTHER ATTEMPT BY THE RADICAL LEFT TRIBES OF ISRAEL TO OBSTRUCT MY MISSION TO MAKE ISRAEL GREAT AGAIN. HE MUST BE IMPEACHED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!"
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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Absolutely BRILLIANT satire!
A sad joke. This is the true 'Handmaid's Tale' of today. The fiction's "forcibly assigned to produce children" is now aging females demanding 1) abortions paid in part by the public, their pregnancies so often fueled by promiscuity), and -- not or -- demanding IVF paid in part by the public, in those "later" years. And resenting the males ( females do this too ) preferring younger possible mates. Mix in hypergamy, and the "joke" is on society. It took the Bee to make it crystal clear.....
No wonder I couldn't find anything.
Just too good!!
No Kings!
Perhaps it is clever to let sleeping "dox" lie.....
---- "Ahithophel"
Specifically, isn't it interesting how "wise" proves not to be when the revolt fails. Leaves people hanging around....
Gotta love The Bee!
Definitely one the best in a while!
🤣
The Bee's a little slack though. IMO Solomon would have started off with "HE'S A BEAUTIFUL BABY!"
BTW, anyone ever wonder what the facial expressions were in that story? Because the ruling is patently absurd. For all we know, Solomon was actually testing to see which harlot caught on, who might give him a knowing look and play along.
Seems to me that if one these harlots were a real dullard, she would not have been able to recognize sarcasm or dry wit. By taking him seriously, she would have been too much of a simpleton to scheme, much less to overplay such 'convincing' details about the supposed time of the supposed incident.
If this were the case, the real mother could be identified [and determined to be not guilty] by reason of diminished capacity.
The world's first documented 'dumb blonde'? Then we can know that she must have been very beautiful as well.
A beautiful baby from a beautiful mother.
~ EZ
Did anybody ask the BABY?
:)
The Radical left Tribe of Israel does indeed exist.
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