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Embarrassed Jay Jones Realizes He's Only Supposed To Want To Murder Kids Before They're Born
The Bee ^ | October 8, 2025 | Staff

Posted on 10/08/2025 11:43:39 AM PDT by Navy Patriot

ARLINGTON, VA — An embarrassed Jay Jones realized earlier this week that he was only supposed to support murdering kids before they were born, not after.

Sources say that the Democrat AG candidate who fantasized about murdering Republican children over text was totally mortified to realize that he should have just been publicly supporting the murder of children in the womb instead.

"That's my bad," said Jones, slapping his forehead in frustration. "I forgot that you can only want to kill kids before they pass the birth canal, not afterwards. Silly me. I deeply apologize for my texts wishing death on kids after birth. To be clear, I want them dead as soon as possible, I just misspoke."

In a gracious display of humility, Jones directly apologized to the man whose kids he fantasized about murdering.

"I'm so sorry for getting caught fantasizing about killing your kids," said Jones. "What I meant was that I wish your kids had been aborted. I apologize for the terrible words that I spoke. From the bottom of my heart, my mistake."

At publishing time, Jones had promised to make a $10,000 donation to Planned Parenthood as a token of goodwill.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
That's Mighty White of Jones!
1 posted on 10/08/2025 11:43:39 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot

The Bee comes too close to reality far too often.


2 posted on 10/08/2025 11:58:23 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
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To: metmom

Sadly.


3 posted on 10/08/2025 12:21:56 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: Navy Patriot

It’s an honest mistake that anyone could make


4 posted on 10/08/2025 12:24:55 PM PDT by AppyPappy (They don't call you a Nazi because they think you are one. They do it to justify violence. )
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To: Navy Patriot

Much more about Mr Johnson yet to be revealed.


5 posted on 10/08/2025 12:29:19 PM PDT by TornadoAlley3 ( I'm Proud To Be An Okie From Muskogee)
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To: TornadoAlley3

Jones. Sorry. 😞


6 posted on 10/08/2025 12:29:38 PM PDT by TornadoAlley3 ( I'm Proud To Be An Okie From Muskogee)
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To: TornadoAlley3

I think the Negro is trying to keep us in The Dark!


7 posted on 10/08/2025 12:45:38 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won, Celebrate Recivilization!)
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