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English Bobbies Race Past 5 Stabbings To Tackle Offensive Social Media Poster
X.com ^ | 11:48 AM · Sep 2, 2025 | The Babylon Bee✓ @TheBabylonBee

Posted on 09/02/2025 4:03:18 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

https://babylonbee.com/news/english-bobbies-race-past-5-stabbings-to-tackle-offensive-social-media-poster

LONDON — In a courageous display of British defense of law and order, English bobbies were seen racing past five stabbings to tackle an offensive social media poster.

Eyewitnesses report that a crack team of constabulary laddies dexterously avoided five illegal migrants who were engaged in bloody mass stabbing episodes as the British officers rushed to take down a man about to share an offensive meme on X.

"Oi mate! Gor, that's a racist meme you got there, innit?" one of the constables was heard to say, sidestepping a Muslim stabber and tackling the dangerous social media poster. "Now then, you know that's not allowed, wot-wot? Thumbs off that send button, me laddy-buck! Chuck us that blimey 'andy now and step lively. We won't stand for that hate speech, not under 'Is Nibbs' rule, no we won't."

Sources say that the bobbies successfully neutralized the threat to justice and public order by confiscating his cell phone and making him apologize to the Ottoman Empire for being white and colonialist. They then walked back past the mass stabbings for a nice cuppa at the local tea shoppe.

"B'Jove — I could do that one day!" a star-struck, wondering street urchin was heard to say. "Just nabbed the bloomin' blighter and carried right on like it warn't nothin' or anything like that."

The urchin's comments were cut short as he was suddenly accosted by a migrant with a long knife.

At publishing time, the constables had received promotions after preserving British law and order by arresting an old grandmother who was praying as she walked along the street.

(Excerpt) Read more at x.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 09/02/2025 4:03:18 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Monty Python


2 posted on 09/02/2025 4:06:30 PM PDT by butlerweave (Fateh)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

3 posted on 09/02/2025 4:15:59 PM PDT by kiryandil (No one in AZ that voted for Trump voted for Gallego )
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To: kiryandil

That’s brutal, but too close to the truth. I’m going to send it to my relatives across the pond.


4 posted on 09/02/2025 4:18:52 PM PDT by ComputerGuy
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To: ComputerGuy

There aren’t any men helping because they’re all on their knees, orally servicing the immigrants.


5 posted on 09/02/2025 4:21:24 PM PDT by kiryandil (No one in AZ that voted for Trump voted for Gallego )
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To: kiryandil

It sure looks like it.


6 posted on 09/02/2025 4:22:38 PM PDT by ComputerGuy
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To: kiryandil

Especially the police.


7 posted on 09/02/2025 4:24:03 PM PDT by stevio (Fight until you die!)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
אריה קינג Arieh King on X:
8 posted on 09/02/2025 4:24:29 PM PDT by desertsolitaire (hite sea. My grandfather shouted warning to anyone who would listen that the Titanic was going to st)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Pretty soon they’ll be arresting little girls for defending themselves against foreign rapist. Those poor rapist have hotel rooms, free spending money and off the book jobs to go to... They can’t be putting them in jail... Who would deliver the fish and chips?


9 posted on 09/02/2025 6:13:29 PM PDT by jerod (Nazis were essentially Socialist in Hugo Boss uniforms... Get over it!)
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