A Bear Walked Into an Ice Cream Parlor. The Strawberry Never Had a Chance.

The New York Times ^ | Aug. 22, 2025 | Mark Walker

[EnderWiggin1970]

The bear had slipped through the front door

So someone left it unlocked? And maybe propped open? It's a shame, because now the bear has become habituated and will need to be dealt with.

[nickcarraway]

Would you rather be alone in a supermarket with a bear or a man?

[nickcarraway]

Would you rather be alone in an ice cream parlor with a bear or a man?

[mass55th]

"Would you rather be alone in a supermarket with a bear or a man?"

Whichever one will get an item off the top shelf for me.

[riverrunner]

A bullet to the bears head would have ended his raiding days.

Bears that acquire names are way to familiar with humans and should be done away with.

[Menehune56]

"Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy wasn't fuzzy,
Was he?"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuzzy-Wuzzy

I see Fuzzy Wuzzy is now considered racially problematic.

[Disambiguator]

Good thing there wasn’t any Rainier Beer around.

[metmom]

Bears that develop habits like this are a danger to humans.

There’s only one solution because they have very good, long memories.

Plus this is the time of year for extra vigilance. They eat a LOT for the winter.

[DFG]

Wonder if the bear got a cold headache from eating ice cream too fast.

[exnavy]

60,000 bears in california. That’s nuts

[j.havenfarm]

Nah. They’ll work on capturing and relocating him. There are a LOT of bears in the area, and proper precautions have to be taken at all times. Infields of mine’s young adult son left some item of food in his car. Some are able to open car doors. Bear got in and couldnt get out. It was also in the El Dorado County part of the Tahoe basin. Sheriff shot out the back window to allow the bear to escape. The car was a total loss

[Ranxerox]

Wonder if the bear got a cold headache from eating ice cream too fast.

lol. Brain freeze!

[Nateman]

...Wonder if the bear got a cold headache from eating ice cream too fast.

I know what happens if AOC eats ice cream too fast. . . . Nothing!

[daniel1212]

Bears that develop habits like this are a danger to humans.

Yes, though you may no want to be the bearer of bad news, the bare fact is that unless a animal has lost its bearings, which is barely possible, the source of a food source as this likely means a return visit.

Hope that puts a smile on your face, by the grace of God.

[frank ballenger]

A bear walked into an ice cream parlor along with a rabbi, a pole dancing stripper and a DC politician....

I won’t continue because we all heard that one from Judge Smails. A real doozy.

[SMARTY]

“Here’s to you Fuzzy Wuzzy
And your missus and your kids
Our orders was to break you
And of course we went and did...”

[9YearLurker]

So he walked in the front door and made himself immediately available to serve customers by going behind the counter. Then he taste-tested a flavor he was most hoping to recommend.

Give the bear a raise!

[9YearLurker]

Or, humans are a danger to bears who develop habits like this.

[Billthedrill]

Tubs lay overturned, ice cream half eaten, the authorities said. Paw prints stretched across the black-and-white floor like stick stamps.

But enough about Nanzi Pelosi's house, let's get back to the story.