I’m 63, single, child-free – and my friends weren’t there for me when I needed them

www.msn.com ^ | August 6, 2025 | Kate Mulvey

[Jonty30]

Several weeks ago, I had a serious health scare. The emergency appointment and ultrasound were attended alone. I did a ring-around of my friends and sisters, but they were away or otherwise occupied. All I wanted was someone to hold my hand and give me a bit of moral support, but on a sweltering hot day, I sat alone in the hospital waiting room – a solitary figure among a sea of cosy couples, with only my Kindle for company as I bounced off the walls with anxiety. While the scare turned out to be just that, the stark realisation that my friends weren’t really there for me when it counted, and that I was utterly alone, was an unpleasant wake-up call. As a childless, unmarried woman of 63, it is difficult to admit how terrified I am of ending up alone and being eaten by cats. Read Next: I tried eight types of coffee bean – a supermarket brand was the clear winner Without the silent contract between parent and child, Someone we look after and who can take care of us, the loneliness wears more and more heavily on me. I find it devastating to imagine ending my days isolated or worse, going gaga and incontinent in a care home. Like many women, I had always expected to get married, have children and maybe even a house in the countryside. It never happened, but not by design – I left it too late. Looking back, in my twenties and thirties, I was about as ready for the chains of matrimony as I was for joining the Women’s Institute. I didn’t want my life mapped out for me.

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; Health/Medicine; Society
KEYWORDS: alone; childless; eatenbycats; unmarried

[RoosterRedux]

Trust no one until they prove themselves. Not a complaint, but humans are a fallen species. I am at the head of the line.

Those who deny their fallenness are the ones you have to watch out for.

[sopo]

At 63 she becomes a drama queen? Writing about this experience for a newspaper is therapeutic?

[vivenne]

I feel your pain. A lot of reality in what you say.
May God bless you for taking care of your family.

[Nervous Tick]

Spel chek is handy for times like this, when I need help with that obvious word for her:

NARCISSIST. Capital-N!!! 😂

[Ronaldus Magnus III]

We are are laaaaarge Irish Catholic extended family. Whenever possible (only a few times so far, thank God) our loved ones have passed away in their home. I have 6 brothers and sisters. When mom was in the hospital (twice over the last 30 years of her life) we took shifts by her side. The hospital staff, especially the nurses, loved it.

One of my older brothers fought prostate cancer for almost 20 years. We surrounded him for his last days. We celebrate every life that returns home. There is so much more good, kind, fun and funny memories to counter missing them.

We treat friends who do not have this to as much friendship and care as they are willing to receive. Some do not believe in God. We treat them the same anyway.

I have no need to seek out the picture of the woman in this story. I will just remember her in my prayers.

[shotgun]

She should look into adopting a foster child or 2, but good luck finding one that doesn’t have issues.

[T.B. Yoits]

I've seen plenty of ending scenarios. Sudden death is best. If you can afford it, avoid facilities like the plague and have the appropriate nursing at home (your home would be best, but the elder's would be sufficient).

...or actively seek out such a place.

[vivenne]

Not everyone in her alone is situation is that way. Many make assumptions. And that’s your interpretation of her. My general statement was about how self-righteous and judgemental many here on FR are. It’s not a good look, IMO.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

How did her mood go from getting eaten by cats to eating coffee beans?

Attention span of a goldfish.

[iamgalt]

Life lesson: when you are really sick you find out who your real friends are and which ones are not. Most are surprised to find out almost all are actually in the second group

[vivenne]

That’s not helpful.

[ransomnote]

In case anyone is tempted to feel sorry for her:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/wont-have-vaccine-no-friend-mine/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At your link, is that....ah....a man in a dress and wig?

[vivenne]

Yep. Same with family.

[cgbg]

In fairness I agree most people who are alone are not like her—and I have high hopes for them.

But—this women told her story in detail. I posted a couple more articles that fill in the blanks.

I want to have sympathy for her—but she makes it very difficult to do so.

[ConservativeMind]

As a childless, unmarried woman of 63, it is difficult to admit how terrified I am of ending up alone and being eaten by cats.

The good thing about that situation is that you would likely be near death before they started digging in on you.

[waterhill]

I pray for her cats.

[linMcHlp]

Freeper AuntB is alone and hurting.

[VTenigma]

Maybe her cats could help out.

[LibertyOh]

You do have your Church relationships - and they can last. This woman appears to be seeing the results of enjoying life while not seeking any meaning but self. Worshipping God, serving others when possible- don’t see that she ever tried.

[P.O.E.]

There are many elderly singles here on this site, myself included, who would probably lie dead in our homes for several months

There should be a reverse-motion detector that senses when an unusual amount of non-motion is going on in an elderly abode.