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Posted on 08/08/2025 3:24:01 PM PDT by Jonty30
Several weeks ago, I had a serious health scare. The emergency appointment and ultrasound were attended alone. I did a ring-around of my friends and sisters, but they were away or otherwise occupied. All I wanted was someone to hold my hand and give me a bit of moral support, but on a sweltering hot day, I sat alone in the hospital waiting room – a solitary figure among a sea of cosy couples, with only my Kindle for company as I bounced off the walls with anxiety. While the scare turned out to be just that, the stark realisation that my friends weren’t really there for me when it counted, and that I was utterly alone, was an unpleasant wake-up call. As a childless, unmarried woman of 63, it is difficult to admit how terrified I am of ending up alone and being eaten by cats. Read Next: I tried eight types of coffee bean – a supermarket brand was the clear winner Without the silent contract between parent and child, Someone we look after and who can take care of us, the loneliness wears more and more heavily on me. I find it devastating to imagine ending my days isolated or worse, going gaga and incontinent in a care home. Like many women, I had always expected to get married, have children and maybe even a house in the countryside. It never happened, but not by design – I left it too late. Looking back, in my twenties and thirties, I was about as ready for the chains of matrimony as I was for joining the Women’s Institute. I didn’t want my life mapped out for me.
(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...
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Click here: to donate by Credit Card Or here: to donate by PayPal Or by mail to: Free Republic, LLC - PO Box 9771 - Fresno, CA 93794 Thank you very much and God bless you. |
““We’re born alone, we die alone. And in between we Garden!””
I love it - as long as our bodies are cooperating...
From my cold, dead hand...LOL!
OK - let’s not go THAT far! :)
It depends on respect, morals and ability. It also depends on how much someone expects or needs. I guess you may get what you have earned sometimes.
Feminism brainwashed a generation of gullible, superficial girls into thinking they don’t need a man or family. They were stupid enough to believe a silly cigarette commercial: “You’ve come a long way baby.”
We buried m 92 year old BIL wednesday. I thought then at that age and otherwise that I may have more grave diggers, undertakers and florist? At my funeral than those paying last respects.
Rant away. This is one of the great PERKS of being on FR.
I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t understand just how difficult it is to get through each day with what you’re facing. A person goes through life with a handful of friends and at least ONE who can be counted on when they say, “call me if you need anything.” Sad, we’re all getting on in years so many friends and family are no longer with us. I tell people about talking to “old high school friends” and laugh and say, “of course anyone I went to high school with HAS to be old”. We live far apart from each other - all widowed - and enjoy our stories about the good times and “old days.”
My best to you, your son and your wife. Know there are many prayers here for all of you.
“of course anyone I went to high school with HAS to be old”. We live far apart from each other - all widowed - and enjoy our stories about the good times and “old days.”
It’s one of the reasons I hesitate when people say you don’t need college, not necessarily for the academic aspect, but more for the socialization aspect, because in today’s world there are so few avenues for real socialization and friendship.
“Why are you assuming she didn’t?”
I didn’t assume did or didn’t. I just asked a question.
At 63 there are plenty single men her age. Something smell off.
My cousin and I took care of our Aunt. Her surviving child never showed once. Our Aunt was not often loveable but both our Dad’s raised us better and would have expected it of us. It would have also made them proud so we did it out of love and respect. They were both great men. What we did taught us a lot about each other too.
We do get to an age when we realize that others in our lives do have their own lives/family/problems to contend with and they do not intend to be neglectful but it’s the way it feels sometimes. Wish for it to be different for everyone. Our lives have been good and then we reach the “elderly” stage and can’t help but wonder about a lot of things! Maybe we need to set aside a place on FR for all of us contending with old age and alone. I ask myself what’s the difference between “lonely” and “lonesome”.
Assume she made it toxic to be around her
LOL! Good luck with that plan honey. Newsflash! Men strongly prefer younger women. They certainly don’t prefer women old enough to be their mothers unless they’re real weirdos like Macron.
“”High School/College is truly one of the few opportunities we get in life to bond with others.””
The added plus to that is we know everyone in that scenario. We didn’t meet a new coworker or neighbor whose background we are told about. We remember where our friendships began - in first grade in the ‘40’s...old loves, new loves, marriages, some divorces, children through the years. That’s a tight BOND! In my case, from the east (21 years) to the west (50 years) and retirement to the south (20 years) and never losing touch until necessary because of deaths. To be really morose about it, all immediate family gone too; left are nieces/nephews left don’t know me.
Hey - ballgame is calling and even tho’ the Braves can’t win a game, it’s better than being bogged down in this mood!
I hear you, my Tigers are starting to get me real nervous.
Family is no guarantee of safety in elderly years. None. I have two sisters that have done nothing but rape my parents blind their entire lives.
There are services that will call to check in on you every day. If they don’t get a response they call back a few times and if they still don’t get a response they come out and do a wellness check.
“I will in time likely be alone as well as I have little family and no siblings. Church family will be about it.”
You are not by yourself. Due to geographical and life’s choices, most of our living relatives are in the midwest and SW. Flying when you are in your mid 80’s is not pleasant.
We use the phones often and other electronic gear to keep up with our family/ relatives and a few close friends.
We love, our local church family members, here. As much as we care and love them, they are not our living blood relatives.
Being In our Mid 80’s+, most of us stopped being plane passengers, years/decades ago.
In this past year I lost a first cousin and a BIL, who were like sibling/bros!
My wife spends a few hours every weekend catching up with her mid west relatives. A couple of them, may not make it much longer.
Medical emergencies do not time themselves for the convenience of others. I mean come on.. I had to ask my barely known neighbor to give me a ride to the ER when my appendix ruptured. No one was there to hold my hand... I did have some really cute nurses though....
Toughen up, buttercup.
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