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Republicans Unveil Debt Plan: Transfer Balance To Capital One Credit Card With 0% Intro APR
The Bee ^ | July 10, 2025 | Staff

Posted on 07/10/2025 11:22:36 AM PDT by Navy Patriot

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that experts said could finally resolve the deficit crisis once and for all, congressional Republicans unveiled a new debt plan to transfer the balance to a Capital One credit card with a 0% intro APR.

The revolutionary idea suddenly dawned on lawmakers after decades of negotiations and stress over the nation's seemingly insurmountable debt. Sources said the plan could be traced back to one GOP senator catching a Capital One commercial while watching CSI: Vegas on his cell phone during an important committee hearing.

"The answer to our problems has been right in front of us the whole time," said Senator Tom Cotton. "The commercial said we can get a 0% introductory APR! How great is that? We can't pass up the chance to put a big dent in our national debt by simply transferring the balance onto a Capital One card. Everyone knows rolling your debt into another credit card fixes everything, so why not do it on a national scale?"

Other legislators were quick to jump on board with the plan. "Honestly, we're a little embarrassed that we didn't come up with this sooner," said Congressman Dan Crenshaw. "Someone finally realized we could roll all of it into a low-interest credit card. It's such an obvious and easy fix. I couldn't believe my eye."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
Republicans have finally addressed the out-of-control Federal Debt by reducing interest rates!.
1 posted on 07/10/2025 11:22:36 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot

LOL. That’s funny.


2 posted on 07/10/2025 11:23:48 AM PDT by IllumiNaughtyByNature (Polls are designed to sell more ads & polls only. If it's not a horse race the money dries up.)
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To: Navy Patriot

Or if Federal Govt made all Govt purchases on their capital one rewards card, they could get 2% cash-back!

That would be $120 billion!


3 posted on 07/10/2025 11:26:21 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: PGR88

The bee finally topped themselves


4 posted on 07/10/2025 11:28:56 AM PDT by onona
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To: PGR88

Or the govt can run up credit card debt, not pay the bills, then call Dave Ramsey so he can tell them how to negotiate down a settlement “for pennies on the dollar”. LOL


5 posted on 07/10/2025 11:29:19 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Navy Patriot

Wasn’t there a plan, to deposit a trillion dollar coin into the treasury bank account?
Can’t they pay off the national debt with 36 of those coins?

Sarcasm......


6 posted on 07/10/2025 11:45:10 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: Navy Patriot

Make sure they don’t charge a “transfer fee”, usually 4-5%!


7 posted on 07/10/2025 11:54:42 AM PDT by bertmerc1
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To: PGR88

Put the entire 37 trillion on it. Get 740 billion cash back. LOL


8 posted on 07/10/2025 12:00:46 PM PDT by Fledermaus ("It turns out all we really needed was a new President!")
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To: Navy Patriot

It’s almost a better idea than any other they have come up with yet.


9 posted on 07/10/2025 12:08:48 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
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To: Navy Patriot

“I couldn’t believe my eye”

That’s funny right there


10 posted on 07/10/2025 12:09:50 PM PDT by Rural_Michigan
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To: bertmerc1
Make sure they don’t charge a “transfer fee”, usually 4-5%!

Three-percent. I just did one.
11 posted on 07/10/2025 12:11:17 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (<i>"Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: Rural_Michigan
That’s funny right there

Yes! I didn't know until I looked him up. That's what separates the Bee from other satire sites, those little finishing touches.
12 posted on 07/10/2025 12:12:15 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (<i>"Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: Navy Patriot

But the democrats maxed out the card none left to do so.


13 posted on 07/10/2025 1:04:24 PM PDT by Vaduz
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