Posted on 06/10/2025 12:20:40 PM PDT by Red Badger
If you think your pool floats are safe in your backyard this summer, think again. I don’t know what the odds are that they'll be stolen by a guy who wants to have sex with them, but there is a chance of that taking place.
That's especially true if you live in Florida near 41-year-old Christopher Monnin, who has had several pool-float theft-related incidents over the years. His last arrest was in 2019 when he was found storing about 75 pool floats in a vacant house. He pleaded guilty this week on the eve of his criminal trial that was scheduled to start on Monday.
Christopher Monnin mugshot. (Credit: Palm Bay Police Department)
The collection of the pool floats had been months in the making. According to a police report of the 2019 incident, "In the past 7 months, the city of Palm Bay has been plagued with burglaries in which the suspect cuts the screen or otherwise enters a victim's back pool deck area and steals only pool floats."
Who needs 75 pool floats? This Florida man evidently. Monnin admitted using them to sexually gratify himself. He was facing the possibility of prison time before pleading guilty to theft and burglary charges.
A judge handed down a two-year "community control" sentence, according to The Smoking Gun. It's an intensive form of probation that is comparable to house arrest. After that he'll be placed on eight more years of standard probation.
The Florida man has a history of getting busted with other peoples' pool floats Monnin, who spent eight months in county jail before he was released on bond, was also fined $840. The 2019 arrest took place after a Palm Bay officer spotted him riding a bike at 1:30 am while carrying a "white garbage bag full of what he identified as deflated pool floats."
There were several reports of stolen pool floats in the Palm Bay area at the time, and he became the prime suspect. Monnin reportedly admitted to swiping the floats and showed officers the vacant house across the street from his own residence where he stored them.
They found about 75 pool floats of varying shapes and sizes. He wasn’t picky. He reportedly told the police he "sexually gratifies himself with the floats and does this instead of raping women."
The 2019 arrest wasn’t his first time being busted for the theft of pool floats. Monnin has prior convictions of burglary, theft, loitering and prowling, and violating probation, according to The Smoking Gun.
His prior burglary convictions, in 2007 and 2008, also involved stealing pool floats. He was found in 2017 loitering and prowling with an inflatable raft in the basket of his bike.
Wow. That's quite the career of pool floats-related crime. Best of luck to him, and hopefully he's able to start purchasing his own pool floats.
so, I hear, is Billy Clinton
I hope the police detectives identify the rightful owners and return their pool floats back to them
“Florida Man Pleads Guilty To Stealing Pool Floats For Sexual Gratification”. Something I need to add to my bucket list.
I’m sure there is a porn site featuring pool float fetishes.
FYI. My “Florida Man Challenge” revealed that I beat my wife to death with a frying pan for burning the toast.
I don’t know...sounds like he is getting more time on probation for stealing and boinking unicorn floaties than he’d get if he actually had indulged himself raping women.
A pool noodle is a cylindrical piece of flexible, buoyant polyethylene foam.
Pool noodles are used by people of all ages while swimming, and by Florida man.
Go on ...
The headline you never expected to read.
I bet they don’t want them!................
Yuck!
That’s wrong?
That’s wrong?
~~~~~~~~~
lol
Maybe he’s just a member of the
LGBTQ2S+POOLFLOAT community?
Did you HATERS ever
think about THAT???
C’MON MAN!!!
He should not have done that?..............
UGH. UGH...UGH....FUGLY AS THEY COME.
Uncanny resemblance to Charles Manson. Crazy eyes.
Why can’t that pervert just get a blow-up doll like normal men do.;-)
He seems nice.
He probably is as long as he gets his polyvinyl fix for the day................
I feel sorry for the pool floats.
🎶Rubber ducky, you’re the one
(breathing heavily)
You make bath time, all the fun ughhhhhh
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