Posted on 06/02/2025 3:03:40 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
CHICAGO, IL — In an incident that brought swift condemnation from Democrats across the country, a local man was immediately arrested and charged with a hate crime for casting a shadow on a Pride crosswalk.
The brazen act was allegedly perpetrated by a man later identified as Leonard Morgan, an electrician who claimed to have simply "walked by" the crosswalk on his way to a customer's house. Witnesses said Morgan's shadow could be clearly seen being cast over the crosswalk for over two seconds, which was a clear violation of the law.
"There's no place in this city — or our society as a whole — for this type of bigotry," said a Police Department spokesperson after Morgan was taken into custody. "Once we received multiple reports that someone had allowed their shadow to pass over a Pride crosswalk, we responded quickly and forcefully. Pride crosswalks must be kept free from any mistreatment at all times. Using the angle of the sun to show your hate is not acceptable."
Morgan denied any wrongdoing. "I was just walking across the street," he said. "I didn't even know there was a Pride crosswalk there. I'm actually colorblind, so I couldn't even see the rainbow paint. I don't hate anyone. I love everybody. Not like that, though. I'm not gay."
The district attorney's office was expected to have charges filed by the end of the day, and the case against Morgan was expected to be fast-tracked to capitalize on the heightened anti-Pride furor.
At publishing time, the authorities had already recommended that Morgan face the death penalty.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
The Bee is lying. This is not satire.
It’s not so much a joke. If you spit on a crosswalk painted with the mockery of God’s rainbow and they’ll charge you with a hate crime.
He was arrested for casting a clothed shadow. If it was a naked, twerking shadow, he would be OK.
Just as long as he was properly tucked!
Such a reference to something like this that already happened?
Never has any repeat business.
Yeah, someone dropped black paint on one of the alphabet mafia’s holy crosswalks. Now leftists are mad. Again. True story.
You noticed the color blind electrician reference!!!
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
You almost got me with this one.
A: Most died in the fire.
Maybe he can be reverse thrown from the ground to a rooftop by local Muslims? Just spitballin’ here
They keep trying.
They just can’t keep up.
It’s not really ‘God’s’ rainbow. The homosexual flag has 6 stripes/colors while God’s rainbow has 7.
Those crosswalks are pining for a visit from a liquid manure-spreader.
I was thinking about pouring a gallon of paint through the hole in my cargo van floor whilst parked on the BLM crosswalk and somebody beat me to it and got hisself charged with a federal hate crime.
Re-calibrated my plan.
Technically, the rainbow has infinite colors. The visible spectrum is a range of frequencies (about 400 to 700 THz) which can be arbitrarily divided into as many sections as you want. The Bible doesn’t mention how many.
Impressive but I am speaking about the one that we humans actually see.
Technically again, humans see only 3 colors: red, green, and blue, relating to the 3 types of cones in the eye which each detect a different frequency. All colors we see are made up of combinations of those. How many combinations? Infinite because it also depends on the varying brightness of light striking each one.
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