Democrats Offer Illegal Immigrants $1,001 To Stay In US

babylonbee.com ^ | May 6, 2025

[V_TWIN]

U.S. — In response to President Donald Trump‘s offer to give illegal immigrants $1000 in exchange for deporting themselves, Democrats are upping the ante with a lucrative deal of $1001 to stay in the United States.

Leaders in Congress are reportedly hoping illegals will jump at the chance to make one dollar more than Trump's measly offer of $1,000.

"Stay, please stay," said Pelosi, holding up a wad of bills. "We will offer criminal gang members and undocumented Americans as many taxpayer dollars as it takes. What about $1,002? $1,003? Don't go. Please."

Trump Admin officials have responded with a bid to top the Democrats' offer. "$1,000 is just a starting point," said Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem. "We can go higher. We can throw in some Little Caesars gift cards and Kohl's cash, too. Don't pass up this deal."

"We will outbid any Democrat, guaranteed."

Democrats then responded to Trump's latest bid, calling it "racist."

At publishing time, thousands of immigrants had taken the cash and self-deported, eagerly awaiting the chance to come back in once a Democrat gets elected.

[G. W. McLintock]

LOL, I wouldn’t put it past them.

[Vaduz]

And free rent at a judges house of your choice.

[EnderWiggin1970]

I like how you posted this 3 threads after my post about Trump giving $1000 for illegals to leave. Helps set the context. :-)

[TnTnTn]

L9lolololol…surprised it wasn’t 1,000,000!!!

[FlingWingFlyer]

Pelosi’s goatsmellin’ butt needs to be thrown in jail. Buying foreign voters. There is something wrong here even if it is the RATS doing it. Pelosi is a criminal biatch.

[FlingWingFlyer]

Geez. Goes to show you how screwed up the DemonRATS are. I bought this hook, line and sinker. Should have checked for the bee.

[SunkenCiv]

Babylon Bee -- for now. :^)

• Jasmine Crockett: "It is not a criminal violation to enter the country illegally." [05/06/2025]
• MSNBC Legal Analyst Breaks the Truth to Morning Joe -- Illegal Aliens Are Not Owed Due Process. [05/06/2025]
• CNN's Jennings: 'Every Person Who's Here Illegally Is in Fact a Criminal' [05/06/2025]
• Trump administration now paying $1,000 to illegal immigrants who self-deport [05/06/2025]
• Activist Who Called Germans "Trash" Given German Citizenship [05/06/2025]

[cableguymn]

They are paying them to stay. Free welfare and housing

[GOPJ]

"Stay, please stay," said Pelosi, holding up a wad of bills. "We will offer criminal gang members and undocumented Americans as many taxpayer dollars as it takes. What about $1,002? $1,003? Don't go. Please."

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