Posted on 05/02/2025 1:46:14 PM PDT by vespa300
Boy: It has been one month since my last confession and these are my sins. I missed Mass on Sunday twice. I Lied about witnessing a murder once. I ate meat on Friday once
Priest: wait a minute can you back up a little bit and say that again
Boy: I ate meat on Friday once
Priest: no not that one back up a little more
Boy: I lied about witnessing a murder
Priest: yeah that's the one do you realize what you said
Boy: it was only once father
Priest: do you know what the fifth is?
Boy: yes Father I know what the fifth is. The fifth is that I refuse to answer on the ground that is might incrimim....
Priest: The fifth commandment!
Boy: Thou shall not kill....
Priest: That's right. Now I want you to tell me what happened
Boy: No father ,I'm not telling nobody nothing
Priest: don't be afraid my son nobody's more powerful than God
Boy: I don't know about that father your guys's bigger than my guy up there but my guy is bigger than your guy down here
Priest: you got a point... five our fathers and five Hil Marys for your Penance
Boy: for a murder rap? that's not bad father!
Priest: what did you say?
Boy: Bye Father..(boy runs out of confessional)
Boy's voice: it was great to be Catholic and go to confession. You could start over every week
(Excerpt) Read more at youtube.com ...
I think a lot of people who like posting criticisms of other faiths are desperately seeking attention, too.
____That’s how Catholic kids explained it to me growing up. Of course I was going to hell anyway because I didn’t believe the same malarkey they did...___
Yep.....and very bewitching, seducing Marlarkey that will deceive even the elect. Thank u.
Yes, I image people like this lead sad and lonely inconsequential lives and posting inflammatory posts on social media is the only attention they get. Really sad.
___Did you think it’s a documentary?___
Uh..it’s based on the life of actor, director Chazz Palminteri who grew up in the Bronx.
It has to suck to be you right now.
As a Catholic, we know Christianity didn’t exist until Martin Luther and the creation of 40,000 Protestant churches.
Unlike Baptists..
I used to see the Baptists at the beer store stocking up before the football game started after church.
This was one of my favorite Carlin routines:
As Puerto Ricans began to move into our neighborhood, the diocese, in this rare display of tokenism in the early Fifties sent one Spanish priest...Father Rivera...to hear Spanish confessions.
And all the Irish guys that were heavily into puberty... would go to confession to Father Rivera. ‘Cause he didn’t seem to understand the sins, y’know...or at least he didn’t take them personally, you know. It wasn’t an affront to him. There was no big theological harangue; he didn’t chew you out. He was known as a “light penance”.
In and out, three “Hail, Mary’s”, you’re back on the street with Father Rivera, man. You could see the line move; that’s how fast he was working.
The last Pope liked to do that also...
Because Hollywood films "based on real events" or "inspired by a true story" equal the Gospels in their veracity.
I like to get mine from the news where the Catholic Church has been funding the illegal invasion of my country for the past 30 years, never mind the Priests diddling the little boys...
The same one where they never attack the democrats for violating catholic doctrine. I could go on...
My favorite Catholic joke.....
The boy tells the priest, “Father I’m afraid I’ve been with a loose girl.”
“Hmm, ok son, what was the girls name?”
“Oh I can’t say.”
“Was it Mary Jane?”
“No Father.”
“Adalina Mozarelli?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“How about Cindy King”
“I can never say.”
“Oh come on boy, I’ll find out soon enough. It was Tina King wasn’t it!?”
“No.”
“It has to be Tracy Cummings though!”
“Father I will never tell you.”
“Ok fine, but for your sin you can’t be alter boy for four months.”
“Ok, Father”
The boy leaves and his friend asks, “So what’d you get?”
The boy responds, “Five good leads, and a four month vacation!”
LOL, that’s a good one.
And you thought it was a comedy...
I start over again several times per day:
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Micah7:18-19
18 Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.
19 He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
Romans 6:1
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
The Catholic Church did not murder “millions” during it’s “reign of terror,” which I assume refers to the Spanish Inquisition. You need to educate yourself, and “Bearing False Witness: Debunking Centuries of Anyi-Catholic History” by Rodney Stark would be a good place to start. Bearing false witness is a sin, you know. But are you already “saved,” so don’t need to worry about sin?
Why are you so nasty?
Jeez...
And he probably only had to go to school for 5 days.
He got two days to goof off.
The Beast system seems like a much better deal that God’s system, hey Vespa?
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