Posted on 04/30/2025 5:00:32 AM PDT by V_TWIN
LISBON — Following massive power grid failures that plunged multiple countries into blackouts, Europe promised its citizens it would get electricity back up as soon as possible so everyone would be able to hear the Muslim call to prayer over the loudspeakers.
Officials said they were aware that essential staples of European life, like pausing to pray in the direction of Mecca and asking Allah to grant them bloody victories against the infidels, had been disrupted by the blackouts, but assured everyone the normalcy of assaults and stabbings could resume very soon.
"Our way of fundamental Islamic life will continue without issue," said Portugal President Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa. "We may be dealing with some unexplained issues with our power grid, but we must assure all of the people in our European nations that they will soon be able to hear the Muslim call to prayer over the loudspeakers and resume planning their hostile takeovers of our countries."
Lisbon residents were glad to receive assurance from the nation's leaders. "It's good to know we'll be back to normal soon," said Abu Musab Al Halawi. "With the blackouts, I've been unable to see well enough at night to go around stabbing anyone. As soon as electricity is restored, I can get back to my routine of plotting the violent deaths of all non-Muslims."
At publishing time, European leaders had confirmed they would have reliable power back as soon as they rebuilt the nuclear plants they tore down a few years ago.
Once again, the paper of record.
More truth than anything in the LSM
For Solar Reliant Systems:
Every Afternoon is a Death Race against Darkness.
It’s not a joke that a good part of the world is following Satan.... and the real world needs to wake up to God’s Word!
Love the Bee! Hahahaha
What did Muslims do before electricity?
Yodel louder ? ? ?
Don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
The Yurps are destroying themselves by sacrificing to Gaia while at the same time importing members of a death cult who hate them and their entire civilization just as fast as they can. Other than Gaia Worship and increasingly Islam, the other dominant religion on the old continent is socialism.
LOL! The normalcy of rapes, stabbings and head-chopping can return soon. Greatlful to the Greenies and Euroweenies. They’ll be Grateful Dead.
On my 10 day trip to portugal about a decade ago I saw perhaps 100 women with islamic head scarves. About 3 of those were in Lisbon and the remaining 97 were in the return customs line at Dulles airport.
About 3 of those were in Lisbon and the remaining 97 were in the return customs line at Dulles airport.
Not to mention the TSA employees.
Impossible for The Babylon Bee to print sarcastic, fake news -b/c so much of it is true these days.
Hard to distinguish sometimes between The Babylon Bee and the legacy media, I’ve been fooled several times.
Naturally, there are several good reasons to get electrical power working again in the deprived areas of Europe, but getting it back for the reason given in the article would seem to be the least of them.
You realize this is satire....right?
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