Posted on 03/26/2025 6:09:42 AM PDT by V_TWIN
U.S. — Despite record-low polling numbers among American voters, Democratic Party leaders were confident they could turn things around and estimated they were only one more arson away from being popular again.
While the party seemed to have run adrift in the American political landscape following its landslide losses to President Donald Trump and the Republican Party, prominent Democrats remained hopeful that their fortunes would come back around after the next firebombing.
"Just a few more torched Teslas and everyone will love us again," said Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "I mean, we've vandalized and destroyed people's property, we opposed eliminating wasteful government spending, and we put that hellish imp David Hogg in a position of leadership with the party. With all those things done, all we need is one more arson attack and we'll be in a good spot."
Street-level Democratic operatives agreed that another act of domestic terrorism was all that would be needed. "This is all just continuing to build goodwill with the American public," said the masked ANTIFA soldier. "The more property we smash and burn, and the more people we hurt and terrify, the closer we'll be to reestablishing our party as the party of tolerance and compassion. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to finish making this batch of Molotov cocktails."
At publishing time, Democrats were working on the next phase of their plan to regain popularity among voters by wrecking everything in people's lives and making everyone in the country hate them.
Sometimes the bee’s satire is too close to reality.
Classic!
A liberal recipe for success! I mean just look at how successful they are. This satire is not so far off, actually I’m not even sure it’s satire. Seems true enough.
If aoc actually said that it wouldn’t surprise me one bit
LOL! Classic from Arthur Brown.
More of Signal messages out today. They’ve got him now! 🙄
The Molotov cocktail is the DemonRATS’ new logo.
It wouldn’t be the stupidest she’s said. Everything out of her horse mouth is stupid. She actually said we could build a bridge or tunnel to Europe and wouldn’t need all those jets. I wonder if she can even mix a martini. Probably not.
The Babylon Bee hit the nail on the head. That's not only how she feels but all Democrat politicians:
Not one Democrat politician in the United States has condemned the extremely violent "Takedown Tesla" thug mob riot organization and its ongoing domestic terrorism against the American company Tesla.
Not one Democrat politician in the United States has condemned the extremely violent "Takedown Tesla" thug mob riot organization and its ongoing international terrorism against the American company Tesla's dealerships and Tesla vehicles throughout the world.
That tells you everything you need to know about all Democrat politicians.
Yet Democrats just picked up a Trump+15 seat in Pennsylvania. Republicans overconfidence is reminiscent of the 2022 “red wave”.
More truth in reporting from The Bee.
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