Posted on 03/01/2025 2:43:18 AM PST by Lazamataz
(Washington, D.C.) Washington, D.C. – In an unprecedented legal move, D.C. District Judge Ira Tarded has issued a court order declaring a state of war between the United States and Russia. This action follows a contentious meeting between Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and U.S. President Donald Trump, which reportedly ended without resolution.
"This court order formally declares a state of war between our country and Russia," Judge Tarded announced from the bench. "I hereby order the mobilization of 350,000 troops and all related war material to be staged in Ukraine. Further court orders will be forthcoming, instructing our forces on how and when to attack."
Legal experts across the spectrum have expressed skepticism regarding the authority of a federal district court judge to initiate armed conflict. Constitutional scholar Professor Linda Marshall commented, "The power to declare war is constitutionally vested in Congress. Judge Tarded's actions are, to say the least, unorthodox and raise significant legal questions."
Despite these concerns, several high-profile Democrats have rallied in support of Judge Tarded's decision. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer praised the judge, stating, "Finally, we have a leader for our time!" Similarly, Representative Adam Schiff asserted, "If the President won't act, I'm grateful Judge Tarded did. The rulings of district judges have the force of law."
In a related development, Judge Tarded convened an emergency session with fellow D.C. district judges to establish a judicial military command structure. Among the appointments
Judge T.O. Krazi as Judge Advocate of Defense Judge Ima Freique as Judge of the Navy Judge Karen Consern as Judge of the Army Judge R.U. Kiding as Judge of the Air Force
This newly formed Judicial Military Tribunal is expected to immediately issue commands to the Armed Forces, outlining a series of mobilization orders and outlining strategic operations against Russia.
Judge Tarded also indicated he would be issuing a court order to reinstate the draft.
The international community has reacted with a mix of surprise and admiration. European leaders supported the move, but Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov dismissed the declaration as "legal absurdity." NATO officials are reportedly scrambling to cooperate with the declaration of war and are working with the new leadership to coordinate wartime activities.
this all goes to prove beyond ANY doubt that We the People don’t need no steenken president to direct this country! just really good, conscious...oops, CONscientious judges as smart and grounded as biden to prove the U.S. is black...oops, BACK and with a selective service that this court orders not to discriminate between men and women, because it doesn’t know the difference, NO COUNTRY will EVER mess with us. why with judges this good we won’t even need elections anymore. moron this at a later time. coffee is working its magic.
You writing for the Bee? Nice!
Good job. Even the BB is having problems keeping up with the insanity of the left, but you pulled it off.
Guarantees Laz would still hit Judge Karen Consern .
Don’t give them ideas. However, as Rush used to say, the best humor contains a grain of truth or feels possible. I am paraphrasing of course. Thank you for the moment of disbelief followed by more moments of laughter.
😂 It’s good to laugh, Laz. Thanks.
Thanks. The details you added filled it out nicely and improved it immensely. Now let’s just hope it stays in the world of parody.
I am guided by a line of comedian Lily Tomlin: no matter how cynical I get, I just can’t keep up.
No, he has his eyes on Judge Craven Morehead.
Indeed. It’s a fun little mind exercise, isn’t it? Mostly harmless. But consider this, both Hillary and Sir Starmer would extradite and jail us for creating and spreading misinformation. The left is good with though, so nevermind.
Laz:
This thread cannot be complete until at least two Freeper phony baloney “legal experts” defend the judge’s decision!
FBI spokesperson, Shirley Ahorre, suggests J6ers be amoung the first regiment in. "Look, I think we can all agree, these insurrectionists are violent people", said Ms. Ahorre, a woc. "We have a complete list of them and their associates and i believe it to be incumbent upon us to require they now perform their fair share. It's time we refocus ICE and round these folks up." Chuck Schumer could not be reached for comment.
LOL
True dat!
Following a massive Russian nuclear missile launch, Judge Tarded issued a temporary restraining order, “... any incoming missiles must cease their current activities...”
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