Replies

Today’s generations will grow old with a phone in their hand or by then a brain implant and live with virtual friends not knowing real people actually exist and incapable of personal relationships let alone marriage.

I prefer the company of the wife of 52 years, we do everything together, planned everything well in advance and enjoy our 2 daughter’s and the grandkids...but we don’t interfere just offer advice and recommendations if asked.

I can do without socializing easily. Our retirement home is out of site by design. I prefer the wild animals to people.

A chosen aging solo, no family etc is self choice. So no sympathy for those who “choose” that path. Losing your spouse is a different story. Don’t wish that on anyone.

Just about every elderly married couple will be parted by death — the few exceptions will die in a common event.

I spend a lot of time with seniors, more than half of them widowed. I’ve heard their life stories multiple times. They’d rather talk about the past than the uncomfortable present, but when the present must be faced, there are basically two negative aspects. Their health, of course, which is generally deteriorating; and the emotional aspect of solitary aging.

This latter is, in a nutshell, that they are getting signals constantly, that they are irrelevant and ignorable. Their children, grandchildren, even their friends seem to have them in the rear-view mirror. Less frequently do they see their family and friends, and when they do — “no one listens.” What they say doesn’t matter. They, don’t matter anymore.

And you can suggest to them that they “remain involved” and have a social life and get out and DO things — it’s good advice to someone in their 30’s or 50’s. But when they’re elderly and infirm, when they can’t drive, walk far or long, or get through daytime without a nap — staying involved with others is advice that seems offhand and dismissive. It confirms their belief that you don’t really see them.