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Juan Soto Retires From Professional Baseball To Play For The New York Mets
Babylon Bee ^ | December 9, 2024

Posted on 12/09/2024 10:09:35 PM PST by TBP

The sweepstakes to land free agent Juan Soto came to a surprising end, as the star outfielder decided to retire from professional baseball and play for the New York Mets instead.

Soto explained his decision to the press, noting that though playing professional baseball had been his lifelong dream, the opportunity to sign a 15-year contract for $765 million to enjoy a quiet retirement playing baseball recreationally for an amateur team like the Mets was too attractive to pass up.

"I can now live comfortably while playing inconsequential games no one will watch or care about," Soto explained. "I am grateful for the career I had, but playing for the Mets will be a lot more laid back than dealing with the intense pressure of playing for a professional team."

Soto's decision reportedly left baseball fans dejected, as they would now have to watch the Mets play if they wanted to catch a glimpse of Soto.

"It's heartbreaking to see a great player leave the major leagues at such a young age," said baseball fan Chad Gleiser. "It seemed like he had so much ahead of him. We all wish him all the best of luck in the future since it's unlikely that he'll ever be heard from again. He will be missed."

At publishing time, baseball analysts agreed that, despite the Mets not being a professional baseball team, they would still be heavily favored in any games against the Chicago White Sox.


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Sports
KEYWORDS: baseball; mets; soto
Well, they are the Mets, after all.
1 posted on 12/09/2024 10:09:35 PM PST by TBP
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To: TBP
"I can now live comfortably while playing inconsequential games no one will watch or care about," Soto explained."

The Mets should make him team spokesman. Not that anybody cares.

2 posted on 12/09/2024 10:13:36 PM PST by DannyTN
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To: DannyTN

Totally brutal, but LMAO.


3 posted on 12/09/2024 10:29:25 PM PST by Entropy Squared (The Rush to Chaos)
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To: TBP

$50 million a year to play baseball, amazing Mets indeed.

Wish they would make a Senior League, one in Arizona and California (Western League)and one in Texas and Florida (Eastern League) for play during winter. 5-7 teams each, Veterans that can still play well but not at the major league level. Play from Nov to Feb with a championship in March.


4 posted on 12/10/2024 5:13:56 AM PST by Jolla
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To: TBP

Hilarious.


5 posted on 12/10/2024 8:12:52 AM PST by Hebrews 11:6 (“It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.” Psalm 118:8)
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To: Jolla

They had a senior league at some of the spring training sites in Florida in the 1980s. Nobody watched.

Maybe it would do better now.


6 posted on 12/10/2024 11:44:25 AM PST by TBP (Decent people cannot fathom the amoral creulty of the Biden-Harris regime.)
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To: Jolla

https://sabr.org/journal/article/one-last-season-in-the-sun-the-saga-of-the-senior-professional-baseball-association/


7 posted on 12/10/2024 11:48:42 AM PST by TBP (Decent people cannot fathom the amoral creulty of the Biden-Harris regime.)
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