Posted on 11/27/2024 1:02:37 PM PST by nickcarraway
Wild turkeys. Those broad-breasted mutants raised for the table are pretty much Earth-bound. After a couple of years, they can often barely walk.
Loni Anderson ping!
I went to HS with her
Wild ones can, hopped down from Roosts and straight at ya’ horizontally at full speed. Scare the carp out of ya’ too!
Les, you take that emergency file, and you get on the air, and when you see the word “Russians”, you substitute the word “tornadoes”.
Les Nessman : Oooh, that’s a good idea.
Les Nessman : [sitting down and speaking into the microphone] This is a special emergency report from WKRP in Cincinnati. Now here with that report is Les Nessman.
Les Nessman : [to Mr. Carlson] Somebody else is supposed to read that.
Arthur Carlson : Just get back on the air.
Les Nessman : [back into the live microphone] The City of Cincinnati has just been attacked by the godless... tornadoes!
The turkeys didn’t have a chance at all.
“I swear to God, I honestly thought Turkeys could fly!”
“Note: Turkeys can fly up to 45 mph.” - AppyPappy
True... But they fly even faster when they’re dropped from an aircraft.
Frozen turkeys could be a problem.
If they’re frozen, we may have to consult Newton.
Better than the WKRP Cincinnati live turkey drop...but probably not as funny.
Second that. This fall I have three wild turkey flocks on my land. Mostly, they ignore me. Young-uns try to drive me away from the dust bath sites.
But there is a window in the evenings, near sunset, when they spook. Birds that ignore me at midafternoon will suddenly decide to head for limbs 30 feet up in the yellow pines.
And then there is the bird that had me circling my house after sunset with pistol at the ready. It had apparently fallen from a tree and had not been able to regain altitude control before it hit a garage door. Slightly stunned, it banged around for a minute or two.
Grew up on a farm, so it or mates would roast nicely. Just can’t seem to decide that the accidental pets need thinning. No, I don’t feed them. But neighbors within a 1 mile radius do.
True... LOL...
“”She probably drops them off in time for them to thaw for cooking.””
That would have to be inside where there is heat...Bless her for such a thought...
I’m sure they have heat.
Sorry, my post wasn’t directed to you, but rather the subsequent comments that were sure to follow.......
Whatever.......But thanks for the clarification......
WKRP Thanksgiving 1978
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SXI-eLMq1E
The owner of the appliance store behind the announcer is none other than the future Mr. Penske of Seinfeld fame - before he became Penske material (and got himself and his board placed under indictment).
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.