Posted on 11/09/2024 9:46:15 AM PST by Twotone
Our long national nightmare is over. Donald Trump has been elected president again and life in the United States — and, indeed, the world — will never be the same again. Need further proof? Consider this selection of undeniable miracles that have taken place in just the short time since Trump won the election.
1. Feminists are shaving their heads so everyone can easily identify them: No more worrying about which women are shrill harpies.
2. McDonald's announced that the McRib would now be available permanently: No more shall anyone go without press-formed ambiguous meat patties.
3. Airline stewardesses are wearing hotpants and roller skates again: Also, you can now call them "stewardesses" again without getting in trouble.
4. Disney will stop making Star Wars: The spread of darkness and evil has come to a merciful end.
5. Joe Biden rose from the dead: He came back to life to give a speech but promptly died again.
6. Liberal women spontaneously stopped procreating: An answer to decades of fervent prayers.
7. RFK, Jr.'s voice was immediately healed after he touched the hem of Trump's slacks: But upon hearing him speak clearly, everyone agreed that he sounded pretty liberal.
8. The Rio Grande parted to allow migrants to be deported on dry ground: They can return the same way they came, but their feet will stay dry this time.
9. A rainbow appeared in the sky, signaling God's promise to never let Kamala Harris run for president again: Never again will the Lord destroy the earth with incessant cackling.
None of this could have happened unless the nation was truly healing from decades of division. Have you noticed any other signs and wonders? Post them in the comments below.
Da Bee is MAGA funny.
An answer to decades of fervent prayers:
Liberal women spontaneously stopped procreating.
Thank you, Jesus.
I would also like the fad of people having their own pronouns to be thrown out and let everybody pick their own adverbs.
🙏
Amen.
Maybe President Trump can award The Bee a Medal of Freedom.
Liberal women spontaneously stopped procreating: An answer to decades of fervent prayers.
I would probably get along with this Gray Rock Dem.
Check my tag line.
Love your tagger.
Where did I get that tagger?
Thought you made it up?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.