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A Jew dies and, having been a sinner in life, is sent to Jewish Hell

Posted on 09/27/2024 3:47:23 AM PDT by Zhang Fei

A Jew dies and, having been a sinner in life, is sent to Jewish Hell.

"Just take the last elevator on the left and press the bottom button," says the Angel of Death. So the Jew gets on the elevator and presses the bottom button, which is marked JEWISH HELL.

As the elevator descends, he can hear screams of agony from each floor and the odor of brimstone seeps in the door. Finally, the elevator reaches its destination and the doors open.

He finds himself in a green field under irrigation beneath a cloudless blue sky. In the distance, he can see a city of tall white towers.

A man drives by on a tractor. He stops him and asks, "Is this Hell? Looks pretty good to me."

"Hell?" says the kibbutznik. "I guess so. You should have seen the place 80 years ago."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 09/27/2024 3:47:23 AM PDT by Zhang Fei
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To: Zhang Fei

Lol


2 posted on 09/27/2024 3:51:56 AM PDT by Words Matter
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To: Zhang Fei

This is true for Israel.

But in the USA, JINO’s (Jewish Bolsheviks) are turning America into a shit hole.


3 posted on 09/27/2024 3:58:41 AM PDT by Flavious_Maximus (Tony Fauci will be put on death row and die of COVID!)
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To: Zhang Fei

During the German hyperinflation of the 1920s, a Jewish man goes to the post office to mail a package. He already has lots of high denomination stamps on the package. But, the postal clerk, upon weighing the package, says, “I’m sorry. The package is too heavy. You will have to affix more stamps.” The Jewish man replies, “And that will make it lighter?”


4 posted on 09/27/2024 4:00:45 AM PDT by Redmen4ever
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To: Zhang Fei

LOL - Good one. 👏👏


5 posted on 09/27/2024 4:06:04 AM PDT by House Atreides (I’m now ULTRA-MAGA-PRO-MAXted)
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To: Zhang Fei
I recall an issue of National Lampoon sometime in the 1970s showing Baptist Hell, Catholic Hell, Episcopal Hell, etc.
6 posted on 09/27/2024 4:09:07 AM PDT by Wallace T.
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Comment #7 Removed by Moderator

To: Flavious_Maximus
But in the USA, JINO’s (Jewish Bolsheviks) are turning America into a shit hole.

Yes,but they're sparing their own neighborhoods.

8 posted on 09/27/2024 4:36:39 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Import The Third World,Become The Third World)
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To: Zhang Fei

A jewish man, sole survivor of a shipwreck, begins taking stock of resources available to him on the desert island he finds himself sole inhabitant of.

Many, many years go by and he is finally “rescued” by a passing ship.

The captain of the ship is astounded at the level of work done on the island. There are paved roads, plumbing, sewers, schools, hospitals, apartments, parks and gardens and two temples.

The captain says this is really remarkable work that he’s done to transform the island to a civilized level but, why two temples?

Oh, says the jew, that’s easy to explain.

This temple, he says, pointing, is the one I worship at every Sabbath and on high holy days.

But THIS, he says, pointing, shaking his finger in rage, I wouldn’t step foot into if you paid me!

Thank you, thank you, you’re too kind. I’m here all week. Try the veal. and don’t forget to tip the wait staff.


9 posted on 09/27/2024 4:49:04 AM PDT by normbal (normbal. somewhere in socialist occupied America ‘tween MD and TN)
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To: normbal

]A jewish man, sole survivor of a shipwreck, begins taking stock of resources available to him on the desert island he finds himself sole inhabitant of.

Many, many years go by and he is finally “rescued” by a passing ship.

The captain of the ship is astounded at the level of work done on the island. There are paved roads, plumbing, sewers, schools, hospitals, apartments, parks and gardens and two temples.

The captain says this is really remarkable work that he’s done to transform the island to a civilized level but, why two temples?

Oh, says the jew, that’s easy to explain.

This temple, he says, pointing, is the one I worship at every Sabbath and on high holy days.

But THIS, he says, pointing, shaking his finger in rage, I wouldn’t step foot into if you paid me!

Thank you, thank you, you’re too kind. I’m here all week. Try the veal. and don’t forget to tip the wait staff.]


Lol.


10 posted on 09/27/2024 5:00:18 AM PDT by Zhang Fei (My dad had a Delta 88. That was a car. It was like driving your living room)
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To: Flavious_Maximus

Not JINO’s. Call them what they are. Kapos.


11 posted on 09/27/2024 5:03:13 AM PDT by nonliberal (Russia is not my enemy.)
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To: Zhang Fei

I wasn’t expecting that.
In Israel you can see the parts they don’t control and those areas are pretty trashy.


12 posted on 09/27/2024 7:04:33 AM PDT by Zathras
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To: nonliberal; Flavious_Maximus

I call them incompetents who want to be unaccountable faceless incompetent bureaucrats making six figure doing nothing when they are age 50


13 posted on 09/27/2024 9:34:53 AM PDT by ckilmer
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To: Zhang Fei

I’ll recycle this one I posted some time ago...

After the service, the Rabbi takes Isaac aside and askes him, “Isaac, I know your son-in-law has a temper and sometimes beats your daughter. But you, Isaac, you are a gentle soul, yet your daughter told me you beat her as well. Why would you do such a thing?” Isaac answers, “Well, it’s like this Rabbi: He beats my daughter - so I beat his wife!”


14 posted on 09/28/2024 7:13:30 AM PDT by Moltke (Reasoning with a liberal is like watering a rock in the hope to grow a building.)
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