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Oprah Releases Moving 1-Hour Special On Dangers Of Alcohol Abuse
Babylon Bee ^ | September 20, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 09/21/2024 2:30:47 PM PDT by Twotone

DETROIT, MI — Famed talk show host and meme subject Oprah Winfrey was showered with accolades today after last night's release of a moving 1-hour special on the dangers of alcohol abuse.

According to viewers, Winfrey sat down with one of America's most well-known drunkards for an interview, presumably in a thinly veiled attempt to warn Americans just what might happen if they also succumb to the siren call of the bottle.

"It was a really powerful show," recalled Oprah fan Jack Morley. "I watched it as Oprah went through and hammed it up with whoever that other completely sozzled lady was on the show. It was a stark illustration of what can happen to a person when they fall into the abyss of alcoholism. I didn't know a human could drink that much and stay conscious."

While producers of Oprah's show said that it wasn't actually intended to be about alcohol abuse, Winfrey herself confirmed that she had hoped her message would hit home in the hearts of intemperate lushes across America.

"It's always, 'You get a beer, and you get a beer, and you get a beer!'" Winfrey complained. "I think we need to get our people back on the temperance train again. The clear message of this show is don't drink, or you could end up like this poor soul!"

At publishing time, Winfrey was reportedly considering visiting the White House to do a special talk show highlighting the plight of dementia patients.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alcoholabuse; babylonbee; oprah
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To: Twotone

I dare to say everyone has been touched by alcoholism in more than one way.


21 posted on 09/21/2024 4:08:22 PM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie
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To: Twotone

how about a one hour special on governmental abuse?


22 posted on 09/21/2024 4:13:54 PM PDT by Qwapisking ("IF the Second goes first the First goes second" L.Star)
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To: Twotone
The country survived Franklin Pierce and Ulysses S. Grant, but back then the President wielded a lot less power than nowadays. No nuclear football in the 19th century.

Not that either of those men were outright alcoholics, but they both had a reputation for problem drinking.

23 posted on 09/21/2024 4:17:00 PM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: jerod

I can’t believe that Kamala hasn’t been told or hasn’t figured out that laughing in public like a fool isn’t a leadership quality.


24 posted on 09/21/2024 4:29:20 PM PDT by RoosterRedux (Thinking objectively is difficult. And painful. That’s why many people just cling to their biases.)
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To: Twotone

LOL!


25 posted on 09/21/2024 4:34:46 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (If the DNC would spay and neuter their supporters we wouldn't need all these abortions.)
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To: jerod

She won’t be laughing like that when the Muzzies and the Russkis are jacking her keister up.


26 posted on 09/21/2024 4:35:45 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (If the DNC would spay and neuter their supporters we wouldn't need all these abortions.)
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To: Twotone

Oh, it was an intervention! Now it makes sense.


27 posted on 09/21/2024 4:51:31 PM PDT by silent_jonny ("it was God alone who prevented the unthinkable from happening." ~ President Trump 7-14-24)
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To: Sarcazmo

I was expecting Foster Brooks. :)

“This one sucked me right in.

Half way through the para I’m wondering who America’s best known drunkard is!”


28 posted on 09/21/2024 4:52:51 PM PDT by Dartoid
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To: Twotone

After interviewing kamalatoe!


29 posted on 09/21/2024 7:52:57 PM PDT by Harpotoo (Being a socialist is a lot easier than having to WORK like the rest of US:-))
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To: Twotone

And Trump is the world’s most well-known non-drinker.


30 posted on 09/22/2024 2:21:28 AM PDT by period end of story (Unvaxxed for my protection.)
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