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Biden Strikes Deal Where Hamas Gets To Keep American Hostages In Exchange For Fifteen Votes In Michigan
The Bee ^ | May 10, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 05/10/2024 6:15:34 AM PDT by Navy Patriot

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what the media hailed as a triumphant victory for diplomacy, President Joe Biden struck a deal where Hamas gets to keep all its American hostages in exchange for Biden receiving 15 votes in Michigan this November.

Political analysts cited the deal as a crucial element in Biden's re-election strategy, with the 15 additional votes he'll receive in Michigan adding to the several hundred thousand untraceable mail-in ballots to give him a sizeable advantage — all at the low cost of Hamas's American hostages.

"It's the product of masterful negotiation," one White House insider said. "The election is going to be a close one, so the president needs every vote he can get. Allowing Hamas to keep their American hostages in return for guaranteeing 15 votes in Michigan is a real coup. The president is confident that the Americans being held hostage by Hamas would be proud to sacrifice themselves to make sure he gets re-elected."

When asked to comment on the deal, President Biden downplayed its importance. "I didn't do that," he said. "Listen, folks. I will not make any deal that leaves American lives in the hands of terrorists. What I did was nod my head when someone asked me if I wanted 15 more votes in Michigan. And they also said I could have ice cream. I like chocolate chip ice cream. Anyway…"

At publishing time, the White House had confirmed reports that they also agreed to send a dozen pallets of cash to Hamas in exchange for assurances that Biden would win Michigan.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History
KEYWORDS: hamas; humor; jokebiden; lol
Biden should have held out for more votes, fifteen may not be enough.
1 posted on 05/10/2024 6:15:34 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot

With this crowd running things in Washington, this might actually be true.


2 posted on 05/10/2024 6:18:15 AM PDT by srmanuel
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To: Navy Patriot

“All joking aside”- Joe Biden


3 posted on 05/10/2024 6:19:18 AM PDT by PGalt
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To: PGalt

Joe probably told the Hamas negotiators “don’t do anything with the hostages that I wouldn’t do.”


4 posted on 05/10/2024 6:22:58 AM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page. More photos added.)
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To: Navy Patriot

Whats Ham asses position on the EC?
Should all of the electorate be raped and murdered?
Should the SCJ and their families be raped and murdered? How the FBI and the DOJ’s families?
Should the biden family be raped and murdered?


5 posted on 05/10/2024 6:24:40 AM PDT by Leep (Leftardism strikes 1 in 5.)
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To: srmanuel

With this crowd running things in Washington, this might actually be true.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

exactly


6 posted on 05/10/2024 6:33:32 AM PDT by thinden (buckle up ....)
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To: Navy Patriot

Fear not democrats always win with more votes then voters 110% is the norm some places.


7 posted on 05/10/2024 6:40:28 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: srmanuel

Hummmm, I believe it is.


8 posted on 05/10/2024 6:50:29 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

Lordy how I love The Bee


9 posted on 05/10/2024 6:50:49 AM PDT by Nifster ( I see puppy dogs in the clouds )
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To: Navy Patriot

Not bad


10 posted on 05/10/2024 6:52:24 AM PDT by Freeleesy
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To: Navy Patriot

I believe Rush said that good humor/sarcasm has an element of truth.


11 posted on 05/10/2024 6:55:52 AM PDT by sasquatch (Do NOT forget Ashli Babbit! c/o piytar)
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To: Navy Patriot

I’m willing to believe it’s true, with this crowd anything is possible and in words from Barack Obama I can agree with, never underestimate Joe Biden’s ability to F::k things up


12 posted on 05/10/2024 6:58:02 AM PDT by srmanuel
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To: PGalt

“Not hyperbole!”


13 posted on 05/10/2024 7:11:19 AM PDT by j.havenfarm (23 years on Free Republic, 12/10/23! More than 8,000 replies and still not shutting up!)
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To: Navy Patriot

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/hamas-s-hostages-who-are-the-the-five-remaining-americans-still-held-by-the-terror-group/ar-BB1m9BBO


14 posted on 05/10/2024 7:23:34 AM PDT by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere.)
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To: Navy Patriot

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/number-hostages-still-alive-gaza-remains-mystery-officials-say-rcna148294


15 posted on 05/10/2024 7:26:30 AM PDT by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere.)
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To: Navy Patriot

All the hostages are dead


16 posted on 05/11/2024 4:51:19 AM PDT by Joe Boucher (Kimber .45 Be Kind.)
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