Posted on 03/20/2024 3:20:25 PM PDT by grundle
Dear Pay Dirt,
I love my husband but he comes from a very wealthy family, whereas I raised my kids on a modest salary as a single mom. I had to sign a prenup when we got married and even if he dies before me, I will not be inheriting millions. He has been very generous with my two adult children, taking them on expensive vacations and such.
This I why my daughter’s behavior is such a shock. She, her husband, and their two girls live in a very expensive area and rent. They refuse to consider relocating based on their political opinions. My daughter called me to complain yet again about her living situation and then proceeded to berate me for not convincing my husband to go ahead already and buy her a house. She was “sick” of how we were flaunting our lifestyle in her face and said I needed to do more as her mother. We haven’t really spoken since and the thought of having this conversation makes me physically ill. I worked two jobs to give my children the best start in life. They graduated with no college debt and I was able to help pay for both of their weddings (this was before I met my husband). I haven’t spoken to my husband about my daughter’s demands because I know it will sour their relationship. What do I do here?
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
It is amazing right now just how impossible for young people to purchase a home. This generation will be renting forever.
Don’t agree. I have a child that has gone over to the dark side. Sure didn’t learn that from me.
Yep. Already copped to my error way back.
She still picked him.
Your personal solipsism doesn’t override the general reason why kids turn out this way.
I’m afraid, FRiend, your criticism here is all wet. Your original point was that daughters get learned behavior from their mothers, I responded from personal experience that my son has become extreme Leftist, but not because I taught it to him.
The correct criticism of my point would have been that I employed analysis by anecdote.
I would have responded to that by pointing out that my case is not unique, and therefore not purely anecdotal.
Appreciate the effort though.
Indians and Asians have networks rivaling anything that the ivys had.
I bellieve that earlly independence and responsibility grounds people in ways that provides creativity and flexibility. That is what propels them I to success. And the doctors and business owners and lawyers and oncology specialists and politicians and cpas and international marketing companies owners and successful restaurateurs and regional construction companies owners and
sucessful inventors that I know among many others all do very well financially and in social stature.
People can see into the future? You are a person who has no knowledge of human nature.
People change.
People fail.
I agree with the independence bit, as far as adulting goes. I don’t see how helping your child, if he is doing what he is supposed to be doing, works against that. In my view, it builds up intergenerational wealth. One of the reasons why Asians have surpassed everybody is because they concern themselves with ensuring the best to their children so the parents can eventually be taken care of.
I think the idea of cutting your children off, the very second they turn 18 and expect them to shoulder $200,000 loans works against their ability to succeed, even if they do become successful they might have become more successful if they weren’t having to handle that completely themselves. Whites are losing ground, when compared to Asians or East Indians, who don’t view the idea that they should cut off their children the moment they turn 18.
No one is talking about cutting children off. I am talking about families who expect their children to take on adult responsibilities. No one is talking about taking on 200K loans, I am talking about young people who stairstep their educations responsibly.
Whites are losing ground to Asians not because of that is going on at the college levels. they are losing ground because of the dogs breakfast they have made of raising children at the pre school and primary levels, the lack of education and lack of socialization. At the college level Whites lose to Asians because whites NO LONGER TRIBE. Big mistake. The white tribes were apparent into the 90s and are totally gone. Everyone else tribes.
Some have said just that. I never said that children shouldn’t take on responsibilities. My support for helping children is based on the idea that they are living up to their responsibilities. If they want to party, they can do that on their own dollar.
Whites are also losing ground because they don’t help their children to the same extent that Asians or East Indians do. Many here have said that children should be responsible for their student loans. Asians and East Indians help their children afford their education. So while their children only end up with student loans, whites, as represented in this forum, have started their children $200,000 in the hole that they have to dig themselves out before they can consider getting a house or investing their income. That’s a $200,000 advantage given to the Asian.
Yes, our schools are doing a bad job, but Asians and East Indians are going to these schools as well. You’re right, it’s because whites looking for their families have become illegal to do so. It is done deliberately, with the intent of replacing whites with others. We need to repent of that big time, or we will lose out permanently and existentially.
Whites are also losing ground because they don’t help their children to the same extent that Asians or East Indians do.
The Asians also understand that paying rent, makes some other family rich, instead of keeping the wealth within the extended family.
Yes, which is one of the things I have been trying to say. They understand very well how to build intergenerational wealth. My concern is that, unless we start to do the same, we are going to find ourselves on the lower end of the economic scale as a rule.
By design…
LOL!!
And he was honest and forthcoming the entire time they went together. Right. Congratulations on never having had a duplicitous liar take advantage of someone in your family. You are special!
When I was young and single I had a great job in southern California.
That was many decades ago but on my salary I still could not afford to buy a decent house in a decent neighborhood.
I realized I had to decide—beautiful California weather or home ownership.
I was not going to get both.
I found a national head hunter in my industry and he quickly got me several interviews with great companies all over the country with lower cost of living but a similar salary.
I accepted a job and moved to one of those places.
I walked into the local real estate office and said “I want to buy a house”.
He said “what is your salary.”
I told him what it was—identical to my previous CA salary.
He laughed and said: “I have over one hundred homes listed here. You can afford any one you want.”
The moral of this story is that young people can afford to buy homes—but not in high cost areas.
If homeownership is important to them—and that is their call—then they have to make a major relocation to a low cost area.
“And he was honest and forthcoming the entire time they went together. Right. Congratulations on never having had a duplicitous liar take advantage of someone in your family. You are special!”
Wow. It is amazing how many “white knights” immediately take everything in a woman’s life as always someone else’s fault. Nothing is her fault or responsibility. Yeah. She birthed children to a “duplicitous liar” (your words not mine. How do you know that?) with absolutely no responsibility for who she chose to bed down with. AND, speaking of assumptions... You obviously know everything about her and her choices and how it is all the man’s fault and she is a victim as if she were a leave floating down a river. You are special!.” (again your words.)
You, not me, are the one who immediately jumped to the firm assumption that the mother was a careless, husbandless person. You obviously know everything about her and her choices...
Oh wow! That’s a great idea!
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