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(SATIRE) Maine Secretary of State Brakey Bans Hillary Clinton from Dem Primary Over “War Crimes”
The Maine Wire ^ | December 28, 2023 | The Maine Wire staff

Posted on 01/02/2024 6:50:51 AM PST by DoodleBob

AUGUSTA, Maine – Maine Secretary of State Eric Brakey declared Thursday that former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will not be allowed to appear on the Maine Democratic primary ballot for the 2024 presidential election because she is a “war criminal.”

“From North Africa to the Middle East, Hillary Clinton is a war criminal who has used war and the might of the American government to enrich herself,” Brakey said in a press release.

“It’s also very likely that Clinton has ordered the murder of dozens of American citizens, including Seth Rich and Jeff Epstein,” said Brakey.

Asked whether he was concerned that Clinton had never been convicted of war crimes or murder, Brakey replied, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

Under the laws governing Maine’s Secretary of State, Brakey has the authority to unilaterally determine whether a candidate is allowed to appear on a primary ballot.

“My duty is to decide, based on the preponderance of the evidence, whether Hillary Clinton is a war criminal, and the evidence speaks for itself,” he said.

The decision comes weeks after lawyers for Clinton defended her eligibility for the ballot against a complaint brought by leading Maine statesman Alex Hammer.

“Hillary wasn’t doing war crimes, *SNIIIIFFFFF*, she was spreading freedom and democracy,” argued Boies Schiller Flexner attorney R. Hunter Biden.

In the 24 hours following his decision, Brakey appeared on Fox News, Newsmax, One America News Network, the Glenn Beck Show, the Howie Carr Show, the Dan Bongino Show, Tucker Carlson on X, the Joe Rogan Experience, The View, Good Morning America, NPR, Pardon My Take, the Ben Shapiro Show, an Al-Jazeera TV, insisting on each occasion that his decision had nothing to do with his future political ambitions.

Clinton’s lawyers have signalled that they will appeal the decision with the Maine Superior Court; however, all three justices, appointed by Republican Gov. Lawrence Lockman, have already stated that they agree with Brakey.

One even tweeted, following Brakey’s announcement, that Clinton was a “dirty wench” who “has blood on her hands.”

New York Sen. Don Trump, Jr., who is seeking to succeed his father as president of the United States, issued a brief statement Thursday night.

“Eric Brakey didn’t kill himself,” said Trump, Jr.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: hillary; satire
This website has done some great investigative reporting. They also do satire pretty well.
1 posted on 01/02/2024 6:50:51 AM PST by DoodleBob
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To: DoodleBob

Biden should be removed from ballots for the border intrusion treason. Which state will do it first?


2 posted on 01/02/2024 6:56:45 AM PST by Rennes Templar (Come back, President Trump.)
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To: DoodleBob

3 posted on 01/02/2024 7:25:43 AM PST by Eccl 10:2 (Prov 3:5 --- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding")
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To: All

Love The Maine Wire where the Editor in Chief confesses to be a “practicing anti-communist.”

Wish we had the Maine Wire in DC......where it’s really needed.


4 posted on 01/02/2024 7:40:16 AM PST by Liz (Albert Schweitzer: “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.")
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To: DoodleBob

The Bee missed that one.


5 posted on 01/02/2024 7:46:40 AM PST by Socon-Econ (adi)
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