Posted on 11/29/2023 3:20:33 PM PST by DoodleBob
Nostalgia can make a lot of different things sound, taste, smell, feel and look better than they really are. However, only a select amount of things can be nostalgic. Once that limit is reached, then it’s just annoying. And Christmas music is the worst offender.
Twas’ the afternoon of Nov. 24, Black Friday, the first official day of Christmas songs. I was driving along the gorgeous Garden State Parkway. Feeling in the spirit, I decided to play some holiday tunes as I drove. Listening to the “Essential Christmas” playlist on Apple Music, I was more or less horrified by the amount of songs I was skipping.
The whole playlist was plagued by terrible covers of the classics. I can only take so many renditions of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and “Little Drummer Boy” before I’m begging Baby Jesus to put me out of my misery with George Michael’s sweet vocals on “Last Christmas.”
Out of curiosity, I went to see how many versions of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” are actually on Apple Music. I stopped counting out of sheer fatigue and disgust once I reached 25. Even Mariah Carey’s iconic “All I Want For Christmas Is You” had over a dozen covers of its own on the platform.
This isn’t cute, it’s boring. It only floods the market with subpar versions of songs most people adore. When I hear the lyrics of “Run Rudolph Run,” I think of the great Chuck Berry, not JoJo Siwa.
I get it, making a Christmas cover album might just be the easiest thing to do on the planet. All the songs are composed and all the lyrics are written. The only thing left to do is put yourself in front of a passable microphone and sing three or four takes until you say, “Good enough,” and tell Spotify to start printing your money. However, all of this takes away from artists who are putting in the work to make new and innovative songs for the holiday season.
For every “A Philly Special Christmas” by Lane Johnson, Jason Kelce and Jordan Mailata of the Philadelphia Eagles, listens are taken away from truly modern Christmas records like “A Different Christmas” by Bryson Tiller or “A Very Laufey Holiday!” by Laufey.
Tiller’s album is a mix between excellent original R&B Christmas songs like “lonely christmas” with Justin Bieber and very personalized covers of just a couple of classics, including “winter wonderland” which he sings with his daughter Harley. On the other hand, Laufey’s EP captures the jazzy holiday spirit seen in the ‘60s, and works it into new arrangements for the modern day like in the song “Christmas Dreaming.”
Tiller’s work specifically might not sound completely like normal holiday tunes, but is there a rule that says every Christmas song needs to have jingle bells up the wazoo and Frank Sinatra singing his heart out? No.
Despite everything I’ve said so far, I’m not exactly too picky with what I call Christmas music. An artist can make a full-on rap album, but if Christmas is in the title, I’d be sure to listen to it come December.
In 2017, the late XXXTENTACION released an EP titled “A GHETTO CHRISTMAS CAROL.” Does it have anything to do with the holiday? Debatable. Have I been listening to it nonstop like it does? Duh. The fact it has Christmas in the title but sounds nothing like a Christmas song gets me in the spirit all the same.
The music industry needs to let the classics be the classics. They’re called that for a reason. Versions upon versions of these works only undermine the talent, passion and sheer holiday cheer that went into making the originals. Create new classics, stop mooching.
And if an artist is making Christmas music, they need to market it. I only heard about Tiller and Laufey’s work through word of mouth. If they don’t tell the public about anything they’re making, then I’m just going to have to resort to the “Essential Christmas” playlist like I did this year, and I don’t want to be disappointed again.
Two Tennessee Ernie Ford Christmas albums from my childhood that I still have: Star Carol and His first one (it’s at the office and I can’t remember the name). Some Children See Him (and the cover by James Taylor) is a fave.
Wife starts listening to Christmas music (and watching Hallmark Christmas movies) mid-November. Local Christian radio station that we listen to starts playing Christmas music on Black Friday. With all of that, I’m Christmas musiced out by the first week of December.
On top of all that, I listen to a few songs, just once each, and I’m through - Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire, Police Stopped My Car and Walking ‘Round in Womens’ Underwear (all Bob Rivers), 12 Days of Christmas by Relient K, and While By My Sheep and 8 Polish Christmas Foods from the Veggie Tales Christmas record. Also I Believe in Father Christmas by ELP, which is kind of an anti-Christmas song, but the music is beautiful.
I can do you one better...how about all the cable channels playing Christmas movies 24/7 starting around mid October! I watch only old TV shows and the networks apparently think everybody wants to watch only Christmas movies. IMO they ruin it for people by running these Christmas movies non stop from October till January. They take the old shows off for those months. And once November hits, even more channels start with the 24/7 Christmas movies. I waste more time scanning my guide looking for any old shows other than Christmas starting in October. Makes me a little angry.
Joyous Music for Christmas Time
Not my youtube channel, BTW. Looks like the channel owner might have put up all four records!
ALVIN!!!!!
That’s right, kid; I’m an old guy. With longevity comes experience and wisdom, neither of which you exhibit.
And in your case very loose bowels.
“And in your case very loose bowels.”
You seem to have a very strange fixation on the scatological, which speaks volumes about you. You may want to seek professional help.
You have touched on my pet peeve! Songs that mention nothing but snow are now “Christmas” songs. Winter Wonderland, Sleighride, Frosty the Snowman, and Jingle Bells never mention Christmas. Sleighride’s original lyrics mention a birthday party as the ride’s destination. (”There’s a birthday party at the home of farmer Grey”)
Switching to food, who remembers how refreshing peppermint stick ice cream was on a hot July day? Well now it’s a Christmas only treat. Why???
Who makes these decisions anyway???
And why are candy canes only available at Christmas?
Who decided candy corn was only for Halloween season? Who decided jelly beans were for Easter?
There is a song out this year titled something along the lines of, “I am coming downstairs with my t!!s out for Santa.”
I kid you not.
The Christmas Season begins on Christmas Eve and end on the Feast of the Presentation of Our Lord.
Anything else is H E R E S Y and will incur EXTERMINATUS.
;’}
I worked with somebody in Iraq who did that. She said it gave her a lift when she needed it.
I must admit I like this one..
You Ain’t Getting ____ For Christmas - Red Peters
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srHM2sIll68
I was wrong. It’s “I am coming down the chimney”
To read the skanky lyrics, here they are. Really, don’t go there if you are easily offended.
https://www.boomplay.com/lyrics/144586679
I am not without a sense humor, and some of these are funny. Maybe it’s (the one I mentioned) because it’s rap which I generally don’t like.
Yes, I heard the Christy Minstrels and the Robert Shaw Chorale playing in our house at Christmas when I was a kid. I have all of those songs now because of the beautiful memories they evoke.
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