Posted on 11/22/2023 3:44:07 PM PST by nickcarraway
This makes so much sense for a rookie. Good for him.
When Tommy Devito revealed last week that he still lives with his parents it was a point of ridicule. On the surface I admit, it’s a little hilarious — especially when you consider that Devito is already 25-years-old, and even more so when the major selling points for living at home are that you don’t have to do laundry, all your meals are made, and you have a hot tub waiting for you.
I’m not going to pretend I didn’t make jokes too, because we all join in on stuff like this when it happens — but over the last week my perspective has changed completely on this. I get it, I respect it, and it’s actually incredibly smart.
I left home at 18. I moved from Australia to North Carolina, accidentally attended the wrong college, and lived in an off-campus apartment with a friend of mine. I worked full time as the manager of a movie theater to cover my bills, and truthfully I think it set me up incredibly well to have a work ethic that has carried me through life.
Admittedly though, there are times I wish I stayed at home longer. My mom and dad are both getting older, and because I was so busy in my 20s keeping myself afloat I’d be lying if I said we were as close as we could be. Sure, I talk to them all the time — but there’s definitely a formative step I missed by not really transitioning into having adult conversations with my parents about their lives and their mistakes that I would have if I was closer to them. There’s also the reality that they’re in their lates 60s now, and and understanding that my time is naturally winding down with them.
This hit home especially hard because my mom was in town for her bi-yearly trip to see us, and she just left last week. Even as an adult it sucks to be without your mom.
There was this constant belief that working in college was my stepping stone. The path to setting myself up for adulthood, but Devito has already attained exactly what he dreamed of in playing professional football. Not only that, but he’s playing for his home team, as a rookie, at the most high-pressure job in sports.
Too often we deify pressure as a necessity. There’s this “forged by fire” mentality when it comes to how young adults are treated. That rarely actually works, and everyone would be better off with a little more help. Sure, if you’re a 1st round pick with the immediate financial resources to have an assistant handle all your errands for you, with a personal chef and a place bought outright with cash it’s one thing — but in the grand scheme of things Devito is not making the kind of money to afford that lifestyle.
Yes, $750,000 is an extraordinary amount of money to earn in a year — but after tax that’s whittled down greatly. It’s far from enough to set you up for life, so for Devito it’s about earning that next contract in 2024.
What better way to achieve that than invest all his energy into work in a nurturing, stable environment away from distraction? Devito has said his family’s home is just 12 minutes from MetLife Stadium, making it the perfect place with a short commute to work on his craft.
Say it doesn’t work out. Perhaps this is all a one-and-done year for Tommy Devito’s time in the NFL. If that’s the case he’s saved enough money by living at home to buy his own home in New Jersey, where the average price of a house is $495,846. At the very least he comes away from his year in professional football in a much better financial place than most people in their mid-twenties.
What if this turns into something more? What if having that environment around Devito causes him to excel, get another contract and become a long-term NFL player. Then he’s set up not just for this life, but generational wealth for those to come.
So while it might be worth a chuckle to goof on Tommy Devito living with his parents, in the long run it’s actually worth celebrating. He’s getting precious time with his parents that many of us would actually kill for as we get older, and it’s putting him in a place to excel.
We shouldn’t shame that just because it sounds “childish.” There’s no prize for struggling and dealing with distractions just to feign some version of “adulthood.” The only thing I’d tell Tommy is that maybe he should take his parents out for a nice meal or two while he’s there when the season is over. Oh, and make your own bed dude. It takes a few seconds every morning and it shows mom you care.
[Tommy Devito]
He was a not-so-funny guy in “Goodfellas” - but troubling - never got “made” though (good)
Still, he was hilarious in “Taxi” with Judd Hirsch
Tommy DeVito is probably not long for the NFL and needs to economize wherever he can.
It has been a historical known for families to live in clans for all human history. The only reason in America that we have allowed kids to be on their own since 18 is because land was cheap and plentiful.
That is getting to not be the case anymore.
*** the major selling points for living at home are that you don’t have to do laundry***
When my kids each got to high school, they were taught how to do their own laundry and were expected to do it. This mama stopped doing it for her children a long time ago. I can’t imagine doing laundry for a 25 year old.
He’s playing better than Daniel Jones and at the worst should be able to land a backup position in the league.
Yeah, because $750k will not last for the next 40 years and I have one more year on the parent's healthcare and at 25, I could never find a real job so...
Sheesh dude, at least buy Mom a new car or something...
I lived at home until I got married at 30.
We had a good deal going on. I had a full time job, was active at church, traveled, did my own laundry, helped with meals and cooking and cleaning, and paid a room and board which was a decent chunk of my take home pay but I knew was far cheaper than renting a place. I saved a lot of money that way that I invested.
The other benefit was that I wasn’t alone. There was always someone home and when my parents went on vacation, they didn’t worry about the house.
It can work out quite well under the right circumstances.
It was a good deal all the way around for me.
My kids were all on their own at 19 or 20. One moved back to our state a few weeks ago.
When he told us I told him he could stay with us for two weeks and that was it.
He had a place lined up before he moved.
He does cut my grass in exchange for use of our laundry machines.
Isn’t that actor’s name Danny?
Many schools of thought here… there are the parents who insist that when the kid turns 18 they’re on their own. Some put that off till college graduation. And I can tell you after living in Italy for ten years, that some never move out till they get married - because momma does their laundry and cooks for them and it’s hard for another to compete. Add to that the economy is bad and good jobs capable of sustaining a family are hard to find.
And hey, Lamar Jackson has his mother living with him and i don’t hear anyone questioning that.
Yea sure, move your punk ass out of your parents house and grow up. Single life can be scary but it builds character. Time to get off mom's teat and build your own life.
You can invite them to live with you thereafter.
Sorry, I'm old school.
DFWgator is used to my twisted sense of humor :)
I can only say that with an alcoholic bipolar mother getting out of the house at 18 was pretty much my entire life’s goal outside of staying out of Vietnam
It’s a cultural thing. DeVito is an Italian name. Living at home into adulthood has always been common among families of Italian descent, at least in my neighborhood and my family.
People used to live together as families. When I got home from the Navy in 70’, after I slept for a week Mom asked me ‘when are you getting a job?’. No laying around in the basement in those days.
Who is Tommy DeVito? Obviously you are joking about Danny DeVito.
The writer would have no idea who made the bed. He was making a joke.
[Obviously you are joking]
:)
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