I’ve met parents of all political persuasions that were afraid to tell their children “no.”
When the kids leave they buy pets that they don’t have the stomach to train to keep them company.
Unconditional love run amok.
It was also one of Trump's weaknesses. Couldn't say no to Ivanka.
I was the polar opposite; I was the mean mom.
After the birth of my third child (big age gap between the first two and the third), my older two started fighting constantly. I know they were doing it for attention. We were still tackling a mountain of medical debt and I was working a lot. We tried everything: time outs, talks, spanks, revoking privileges...for two years, nothing worked.
Christmas of 2010, I decided enough was enough. After conferring with my husband, we sat the kids down after Thanksgiving and warned them that they were on the naughty list (ages 9, 7, and 2). If they kept misbehaving, picking on the baby, and fighting, there would be nothing under the tree. (They had already peaked into my master closet and saw the bags of toys and gifts, so they thought I was bluffing).
December 15th, I warned them they were still on the naughty list.
Christmas Eve, we sat them down again to let them know there would not be anything under the tree. That night, my husband and I moved the packages to the attic.
Christmas morning was usually a flurry of activity, with wrapping paper flying, boxes torn open, mommy making a big breakfast on very little sleep because I was up wrapping after midnight, and daddy taking pictures and finding batteries.
That Christmas, it was dead quiet.
There was nothing under the tree.
The kids let us sleep in. We finally got up, made breakfast, chose the movie we wanted to see, did dinner, and went to church.
They behaved like angels.
They kept behaving like angels that whole week. They played nice with each other, helped each other, picked up their toys when asked, and didn’t fight.
For several days, my little one would come to me daily and ask, “Mommy, is it Christmas, yet?”
It broke my heart but not my resolve. My husband was the one to finally give in. “I think we’ve made our point.”
New Year’s Eve, we put the presents under the tree while the kids were asleep.
They never forgot that lesson, but the bad behaviors started creeping back over the summer. The following year, we gave them the same warning, but this time my husband and I decided we would actually return everything we bought.
They were on their best behavior for the entire month.
They all grew up into fine young people; hardworking, smart, considerate, helpful, and close. They don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, and have never been in trouble with the law.
It truly helped that my husband and I were aligned in setting boundaries and consequences. I think this young lady was used to tromping all over boundaries and never faced consequences.
Better that there are ramifications over something stupid and small than something big and unforgivable.