oh for sure....its tradition at FR to blame the victim first, especially if the victim is a female and this thread is just keeping that tradition going....
When a child runs up to me and says “Billy hit me!”, the first thing I say is, “what happened before that?”. Usually, the situation instantly dissolves.
I despise violence of any sort, but sometimes people poke the dog and get bit.
What are you doing out of the kitchen?
As I see it, there are two radically different sets of circumstances when it comes to "victim" and "perp".
Case 1 - Guy#1 is walking down the street, minding his own business, and Guy#2 walks up to him and attacks him with a knife, killing him. Guy#1 is a victim and nobody on FR or elsewhere will blame him.
Case 2 - Guy#1 and Guy#2 are arguing. The argument escalates into a shoving match, then into a fistfight. At some point Guy#1 pulls out a knife and kills Guy#2.
In case 2, while the Guy#2 is a victim, it's not unreasonable to point out that there was prior argument and altercation which probably was at least partly his doing.
In this particular case, quote: Police classified the crime as a “domestic dispute". There was an argument, possibly some prior physical violence. The article doesn't really give details.
This is not to say that the woman deserved her treatment, far from it. But we don't know to what degree her actions or words may have precipitated or escalated the argument, hence the speculation on the thread.
Personally I have learned in my 71 years, how to de-escalate arguments, and when all else fails, how to walk away. I only wish I'd learned it sooner.
It is called gallows humor. They are not blaming the victim.