Posted on 07/07/2023 7:09:15 AM PDT by JonPreston
A Kentucky trailer park legend by the name of James Loveless passed away earlier this month.
His obituary outlining binge drinking, debauchery, and a general passion for the simple things in life has gone viral after the Internet got wind of it. The obit was picked up by the NY Post and Barstool, and guys all over are attracted to this viral obituary like a moth to flame.
Here are some of the more memorable entries from James Loveless’ viral obituary:
“As a gluttonous eater of fried foods and snack cakes, as well as the occasional chili cheese dog, James, tried in vain to give up the ghost by clogging his arteries and having a stroke in 2015. His twin boys, Rocky and Rodney, had other plans and made him go to the hospital. While waiting in the ER at the hospital, he was heard saying, “Let’s make a break for it!”, only to be heard by one of the hospital staff and forced to go through the procedure. He wasn’t too excited about the prospect, but went anyway.”
If you are a lover of chili cheese dogs and fried foods like James, maybe treat yourself to a little extra indulgence his weekend because why not?
James, like many guys, was a lover of barbecue. He understood that ‘slow and low’ was the only way to achieve perfect BBQ and the best way to pass the time was crushing beers:
“On many occasions in life, James was seen in his back yard at the trailer park during the early hours of the morning, hammering beers, standing over country-style ribs, and yelling, “It’s got a head like a cat on it!”, while nearby neighbors would peek out their windows bearing looks of disgust and amazement, as his party guests were slurring remarks about needing to speed up his cooking style. “We’ve been here since 5 o’clock,” they would say. “I’ve got work in the morning.”
We’ll be eating bugs, they’ll have their steaks.
Oops
He’s drinking diet soda. Can’t get more health-conscious than that.
The DIET soda is probably what kept him alive for 60 years - what a guy! /s
Diet soda offsets the sodium and cholesterol of the chili cheese dogs......everybody knows that. Lol!
“He leaves behind his second-favorite son, Rocky(and Lizeth) Loveless of Arizona City, AZ, his favorite son, Rodney Loveless of Science Hill, KY”
Rocky must be disappointed to find out he’s #2. 😏
Whoever wrote that obit needs to apply at The Babylon Bee.
A&W. Man has good taste.
The comments section too.
“If rain wasn’t the angels peeing before…it sure will be now.”
I remember a heavyset individual from work many years ago. He’d eat a huge lunch (three sandwiches, a few apples and bananas, several Hostess snack cakes and such) and then chug a can of Ultra Slim-Fast. I don’t know if it ever worked, but I’d guess not.
He also had a much larger ... retinue of ladies than I ever had:
We don't know if he was married, but he definitely was a lady's man. There was Kathy, Mary Lou, Tammy, Debra, Carrie, Tina, etc., etc. "It's the bones", he told us as proudly pointed his skinny, pasty-white legs. "Women love a good shin". We think he might even have some females waiting for him on the other side.
Jamie loved his family more than anything else in the world...except ice-cold Busch, room-temperature Busch, T-bones, New York strip, prime rib, shrimp, swimming, poker, hatch-back Mustang GTs, tank-tops, Kentucky Men's basketball, and his personal copy of Eddie Murphy's Raw.
Well, at least I have the pasty white shins going for me.
I’m gonna hammer down a 6 pack of Busch light in honor of him tomorrow morning.
Dad’s was always my favorite root beer, but not diet. Never diet any kind of soda.
Born and raised in Kentucky in 1963-a state that has been recently leaning toward more liberal values, we might add–Jamie, a divorcee, father, grandfather and proud owner of a few lots in the trailer park, had had enough and up and died on us on June 14th in order to avoid another Presidential stolen-election mishap in the near future.
😮
Otherwise, she has a very pretty face.
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