Posted on 07/05/2023 3:09:48 PM PDT by george76
The latest chapter in the Meghan character arc is about the content she and hapless Harry are trying to pitch to their paymasters in Beverly Hills.
Not all fairy tales have happy endings, and for Princess Meghan the clock just chimed midnight and the spell has been broken. The coach is turning back into a pumpkin as we speak.
As a longtime Royal Family watcher, I admit to feeling shameless glee as I read the recent stories of Meghan and Harry striking out in Hollywood. It’s always fun to watch dire low-stakes predictions come true. Like many of you, I was appalled at the disrespect Meghan showed to her in-laws. Instead of respecting the Queen, Meghan, incredibly, seemed to be trying to compete with the Queen. She thought she was playing a game of “Survivor,” but she was the only one on the island who didn’t know how to make a fire.
A Long Way Down for the Duchess..
For those not keeping track, Meghan and her nitwit ginger sidekick have been dropped by Spotify, reportedly losing half of the $50 million promised. She got $25 million for a measly 12 hours of a middling podcast featuring the richest and most famous women in the world complaining about how hard their lives are. Netflix is reportedly about to cut their $100 million deal short. They finished milking them dry of low-hanging tabloid family gossip, and just found out they have no Act 2.
Nothing is working out the way she dreamed it would. Meghan’s imagined billionaire lifestyle is turning into a mirage. Why? Because for some hilarious reason, the creative bigwigs in Hollywood believed Meghan when she promised that her and Harry would be able to provide oodles of monetizable entertainment content.
I mean, yes, I am quite entertained by the spectacle, but schadenfreude is tough to monetize.
Meghan In Her Flop Era..
Meghan’s predicament tells you everything about the people who run Hollywood. Imagine thinking that these two “f*cking grifters,” in the words of the Spotify exec who had to say no to Harry’s harebrained podcast ideas, would be a rich source of high-quality entertainment!
I can’t help wondering how a D-list golddigger convinced these studio heads that her and the ginger mouth breather would somehow provide $150 million worth of streaming content. It turns out that they’re only good at providing piles of steaming content, if you know what I mean.
I suppose it’s true, as movie producer Jackie Trehorn tells the Dude in “The Big Lebowski,” standards have fallen in entertainment. Since the Sussexes first ditched their careers as legit royalty and started groping for ephemeral Hollywood royalty, my fellow Meghan hobbyists and I have enjoyed a goldmine of unintentional comedy. She’s the Benny Hill of pampered Montecito trophy wives, always running downhill chased by imaginary paparazzi.
She’s been a source of delight since the early days when she was using a Sharpie to write inspirational messages on bananas to street prostitutes in England. “You are brave.” “You are loved.” Then the cringe-worthy trek through the thousand micro-aggressions she endured at the hands of her sister-in-law Catherine. Did she not realize everyone saw it for what it was: pure jealousy?
But now we come to the era of Meghan Markle, entertainment content creator. The latest chapter in the Meghan character arc is about the content she and hapless Harry are trying to pitch to their paymasters in Beverly Hills. It was clear that her long slide back into C-list obscurity had begun when I read an incredible tidbit in the trades earlier this year. Meghan was talking about her new content ideas she was working on for her “media production company.” See, it’s already funny!
Meghan gushed to a Variety reporter: “For scripted, we want to think about how we can evolve from that same space and do something fun! It doesn’t always have to be so serious. Like a good rom-com. Don’t we miss them? I miss them so much. I’ve probably watched ‘When Harry Met Sally’ a million times. And all the Julia Roberts rom-coms. We need to see those again.”
We do? Rom-coms? I mean, yeah, it would be wonderful to have good movies again, of any genre. But with Meghan in charge, imagine the scripts she would commission. “When Harry Met Meghan, the Oppressed and Suicidal Actress.” “How to Lose a Prince in 10 Days.” “10 Things I Hate About Kate.” “The Meghan Markle Story, Starring Meghan Markle.”
That last one’s more of a tragicomedy than a rom-com, sorry. But I understand why she wants to make Julia Roberts-style romantic comedies. After all, just a few years ago, she was lurking on Hollywood Boulevard auditioning for her big break when a prince in an Aston Martin cruised by and whisked her away to his palace. She has lived a real-life Cinderella story. Only this one may not have quite the same ending.
As Jeremy Zimmer, the CEO of United Talent Agency, one of the largest Hollywood talent agencies dished during Cannes to every reporter within earshot: “It turns out that Meghan Markle wasn’t a great audio talent, or necessarily has some kind of talent. And you know, just because you’re famous doesn’t mean you’re good at something.”
Ouch. I wonder if Jeremy Zimmer has seen the latest desperate pitch Meghan made to Netflix; a girlboss rom-com called “Bad Manners” starring … Miss Havisham. The show is “a prequel to Charles Dickens’s 1861 novel Great Expectations which will focus on the character Miss Havisham… [the show] aims to shine a feminist light on the spinster, showing her as a ‘strong woman living in a patriarchal society.’”
Who says comedy is dead? Sign me up for this one!
The article ends with the ominous “it is unclear whether the show will get a green light from Netflix.”
Meghan is learning, finally, the hardest lesson of all: real royalty may be hereditary, but Hollywood royalty has to be earned. Popularity matters. Likeability, in the end, is the only currency that matters if you wear no crown.
She got caught up in a real Cinderella story but, being a peasant, she screwed it up instead of demurely enjoying her new wealth.
HG Tudor did a short video on this prayer group someone started for Markle.
It’s a hoot. There are so many misspelled words I had to wonder if the prayer group is satire.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDxQ9QE4H0I
I’ve tried to be objective. The Royal Family is pretty much a joke now that the Queen is gone. I think they look ridiculous with all their medals - although the spectacle of it all is really something.
I don’t envy William and Kate being stuck with this life - at least they keep a stiff upper lip while going about their duties. And therein lies the problem with the spare and his wife. They trashed the family and that’s never acceptable - even the royal family.
Megan must have really thought she was something - meeting with Hillary, Oprah and other people who ordinarily wouldn’t have given her a second thought. And after all...it’s not HER family they were trashing - not that she would have cared given how she’s treated her own family.
I almost feel sorry for Harry - the lost of his mother, the situation of his birth rendering him mostly meaningless for life. It’s now up to him to make something of himself and I don’t think he’s got the tools. Remember what our genius DJT said “I wish Harry a lot of luck...he’s going to need it”.
Those are all rumors. No evidence showing William going into a mosque to pray, etc. Whatever Diana was doing with her Muslim boyfriend had no bearing on her children. Do you honestly think for one minute that the Palace & Queen Elizabeth would have allowed William or Harry to convert to Islam? It would mean the end of the Royal Family, FFS!
I’ll give Markle credit for knowing the value of royal gossip in Hollywood and capitalizing on it.
Oprah taught her well...
Ooh that was brutal. 🤣
I see her in The Princes Dairies (not Diaries). Think of it as an update to Green Acres, with both of them needing to shovel manure. Maybe she could be kicked in the head a couple of times each week.
I binge-watched Suits this past week. She did a very good job as Rachel Zane.
Maybe they can do a series on buying abandoned storage units and bitch about how hard it is to clean them out.
That is why Philip Mountbatten did what had to be done.
Imagine a Muslim half sibling to the King of England.
Philip was above all a man of tradition.
So why is WME repping Markle and Archewell...?
And still wondering if Harry is here on a visa that allows the Harkles to dodge US income taxes..
I could live on $150 million.
He is not a muslim. Sheeesh.
Your news is 26 years behind the times. Had you watched any of the recent coronation, you would have heard Charles taking the oath to uphold the Christian religion. Several times. In Westminster and in the cathedral. He and horseface had their marriage blessed in an Anglican church. He has spoken out multiple times about persecuted Christians in the Middle East. He has made a pilgrimage to the shrine dedicated to Philip's mother, who became a nun after Philip's father abandoned her.
The job of the Royals is to be diplomats to all communities in their 42-member Commonwealth and also within the UK. This often involves polite photo-ops with all minority groups. You will see them photographed with Sikhs, Hindus, Jews, blacks, LGBTs, and muslims. That doesn't mean they are becoming one.
It is definitely satire.
Note the photo credit for 4th of July pics.
They’re from the Harkles’ pet paps.
Harry used his daughter for a photo op.
They aren’t Muslim. They are not Christians, either. And the royal family, which I do NOT admire, still behaves better than she has imagined behaving.
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