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Ask Amy: We told him not to come to the wedding, but we still wanted his money
Chicago Tribune ^ | 6/29/2023 | By Amy Dickinson

Posted on 06/29/2023 9:25:13 AM PDT by NohSpinZone

Four months before my daughter’s wedding, she told me that her uncle (my brother, “Dave”) would make her feel unsafe if he was a guest. She asked me not to invite him.

My daughter is very politically progressive, as are many of her friends, and although she and Dave have always had a good relationship (I thought), he is a conservative voter and has supported candidates we all abhor.

Dave has always been very nice, so my daughter’s request surprised me.

I wrote Dave a very nice note, telling him that we would not be comfortable with him at the wedding and that he would not be invited.

SNIP

Afterward, I sent him a card and pictures from the wedding, all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out.

I have not heard from Dave since then. When my siblings found out what I had done they were angry with me.

That is just one problem.

Another problem is that Dave has not sent my daughter and son-in-law a wedding gift.

In the past, Dave has given family members wedding checks in excess of $1,000.

She says she was counting on receiving the same type of gift.

My husband says I should drop it – but I can’t. Dave’s behavior is upsetting and embarrassing to me.

How can I get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior?

(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: amydickinson; askamy; chicago; chicagotribune; conservative; demagogicparty; demwit; entitlement; illinois; mediawingofthednc; partisanmediashill; partisanmediashills; progressive; ronklain; wedding; whiteprivilege
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To: USS Alaska

You are a GREAT parent!


121 posted on 06/29/2023 2:40:32 PM PDT by Enterprise
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To: DMD13

Better still, make sure that the video is turned on as you write a check to the Trump 2024 PAC in their name!


122 posted on 06/29/2023 3:42:52 PM PDT by T. Rustin Noone (Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum)
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To: GOPJ
The brother should send them a wedding card wishing them well and not put a dime in the card.

..and GO TRUMP! at the bottom.

123 posted on 06/29/2023 3:43:11 PM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: NohSpinZone

The chutzpah!


124 posted on 06/29/2023 4:22:59 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: lefty-lie-spy
This is a great one for Matt Walsh’s “Am I The A-hole” segment.

I'm curious -- did Matt Walsh originate that column on Reddit? It's very entertaining crowd-sourced wisdom.

125 posted on 06/29/2023 4:24:49 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: NohSpinZone
The letters says that the other siblings were angry too.

She ruined the chances for the as-yet-unmarried ones to receive a generous wedding gift, also.

126 posted on 06/29/2023 4:26:16 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: rlmorel
I forget sometimes that there are people just like this out there...

I once worked with a grown woman who highly resented that her boyfriend spent any time at all with his young children from the marriage she had helped him break up.

And another woman friend in her 60s who resented how long it was taking her husband to get over the death of his mother. It had been over a month, and he was still sad!

127 posted on 06/29/2023 4:30:54 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: silverleaf
Dave should let the happy couple know he donated $1,000 to Trump’s PAC in their names and wish them well.

You win the thread!

128 posted on 06/29/2023 4:44:53 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: adorno

I used to think that things this outlandish had to be made up, but not these days. You would not believe the Bridezilla stories I hear. You could not make it up.


129 posted on 06/29/2023 4:48:42 PM PDT by Hildy
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To: Sirius Lee
It's been said that you can pick your friends, but not your family. But the latter is not true.

It goes like this:

“You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose; but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”

:-)

130 posted on 06/29/2023 5:12:51 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: NohSpinZone

Good for Dave, he should tell her to go to hell.


131 posted on 06/29/2023 5:17:47 PM PDT by kenmcg (ti hi o)
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To: ronniesgal; NohSpinZone; HamiltonJay
this girl is a snot, unless Dave molested her.

Stop this evil speculation! The mother said that her daughter always had a good relationship with him. This was about politics. Progressives don't even need a good reason to hate. It comes naturally to them.

132 posted on 06/29/2023 5:20:26 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: Albion Wilde

I’m not speculating, I unfortunately have seen this reality far too often.. moms and dads often are not aware.

Just because mom
Says “they have always had a good relationship” doesn’t mean that the truth.

I said unless, that’s a condition, maybe you need to go back and read what was written rather than just assume the parent knows the truth.

I am not accusing uncle Dave of anything, I am just saying unless that is what was going on.

Anyone who’s had to deal with this crap can tell you mom and dad don’t always know what has happened.


133 posted on 06/29/2023 5:24:59 PM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: HamiltonJay

While I agree with you that parents are often the last to know, surely the possibility of abuse would also have crossed the mind of “Ask Amy,” an established syndicated columnist with a reputation to uphold.

The real crux of the matter is rude manners—expecting a gift of money from a relative you have excluded from a wedding for any reason whatsoever.

IMO, “Ask Amy” made a correct editorial decision to answer the letter’s dilemma at face value. Her response would apply to a wide readership that surely includes many others with entitled millenial relatives.

If there actually had been abuse, using one’s wedding to punish and extort a relative instead of confronting the issue at another time and in an appropriate forum (a counselor’s office or court of law), is ineffectual as therapy—and crass as a social hostess among many close relatives who were offended by it.


134 posted on 06/29/2023 6:22:24 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: Albion Wilde

>>I’m curious — did Matt Walsh originate that column on Reddit? It’s very entertaining crowd-sourced wisdom.

I don’t think so. I guess his producers just ran across it and thought it would be funny for him to comment on it.


135 posted on 06/29/2023 6:24:03 PM PDT by lefty-lie-spy (Stay Metal)
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To: Seruzawa

Son worked for Trump in DC. Good friend of his lives in Portland, OR & my son bought a ticket to go see him & hang out. When his friend’s “Portland” friends found out, they had a conniption so he never went. His friend came back to Omaha for a wedding my son was in & wanted to hang out. Son told him to f-off.


136 posted on 06/29/2023 7:22:03 PM PDT by Mean Daddy (Every time Hillary lies, a demon gets its wings. - Windflier)
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To: Albion Wilde

how about you stop bossing people around?
I can and will speculate all day long.


137 posted on 06/30/2023 3:36:03 AM PDT by ronniesgal (friends don't let friends be Kardashians)
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To: ronniesgal

Aw, you just go right on ahead and enjoy your sexual thoughts about a complete stranger while I explain how publishing works.


138 posted on 06/30/2023 12:08:02 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: Albion Wilde

whatever.and i frankly am not interested in you explaining anything to me.
Buhbye.


139 posted on 06/30/2023 12:20:34 PM PDT by ronniesgal (friends don't let friends be Kardashians)
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To: ronniesgal

Aw, you’re leaving? Just when we were getting to be besties!! Well, bye.


140 posted on 06/30/2023 12:48:45 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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