Posted on 06/09/2023 5:48:03 PM PDT by nickcarraway
There is no other like it in the world. Our NJ pizza. It’s got that special something. Some say it’s the water. Some say it’s the way we make our crust. Some say it’s just got that Jersey swag.
Whatever that special is, we’ve got the best pizza in the world and we know it. But we also have very strict rules about our pizza. You never fold it. You never eat it with a knife and fork. And there are certain toppings that are just a no-no.
There are 10 deadly sins of pizza toppings in New Jersey.
Here, we will list the 10 Commandments of pizza toppings, though shalt heed.
Thou shalt not have pickles on pizza.
Do you wanna have a salad with pickles? We’ve got no problem with that. Burgers? Obviously. But pickles have absolutely no place on a pizza in NJ.
Thou shalt not eat fruit on pizza.
There are those who enjoy goat cheese, apples, and caramelized onions on a pizza. If you do, take a hike. No apples no pineapples no bananas no tangerine slices no, no no fruit on a pizza.
Thou shalt save the ham for sandwiches.
Some have enjoyed ham with pineapple on pizza. I get It. You like meat on a pizza. There are plenty to choose from. Meatballs? Acceptable. Pepperoni? Encouraged. But ham?? Save it for Christmas. And if you do not heed this commandment, and decide to whip up a coal-fired pineapple pizza, expect coal fire and brimstone.
Thou shalt honor the cheeses.
There are Jillions of different cheeses that are acceptable on pizza. Why do you need to ruin a perfectly delicious pizza with goat cheese.? You’ve got smoked cheeses, buffalo mozzarella, fresh, mozzarella, grated mozzarella, asiago, Parmesan and any number of combinations of the above, but for Heaven’s sweet sake stop with the Goat cheese on pizza. For, on pizza, the goat is anything but the GOAT.
Thou shalt leave ranch dressing off pizza.
There’s a saying: There’s nothing in the world that can’t be improved with either ranch dressing or chocolate. Pizza is the one exception. Although we’ve heard of people eating ranch dressing on pizza, we believe they deserve to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of culinary law. Or be doomed to pizza perdition.
Thou shalt not covet pineapple on pizza.
Even if it were acceptable to eat any fruit on pizza, pineapple would not be it. Yet, we know many people eat, ham, and pineapple on pizza . If youre a fan of the combination of pineapple and ham, go to a luau. But keep it off of your pizza
Thou shalt save mustard for hot dogs.
I’m not sure where this idea came from but there are people who put mustard on a pizza. Those people should be ashamed of themselves. Not sure what the penance is for this transgression. Please consult your local clergyperson.
Thou shalt not eat chicken on pizza.
A huge sin. The chickens themselves would be embarrassed to know that they were going to be shredded and thrown on top of a pizza. need I say more?
Thou shalt not bear pizza peas.
A popular Brazilian food is pizza with peas thrown on top. And for some reason this is gained popularity in certain parts of the country. Please, go back to those parts.
Remember the beans and keep them off the pizza.
I was horrified to hear that there are people who enjoy baked beans on top of the pizza. And others have created a monstrosity called a Mexican pizza with refried beans on top. There’s absolutely no explanation for this, nor any excuse For it. Just stop. Or risk being relegated to food hell.
Screw New Jersey.
I’ll make my pizza any way I want. Put anything I want on it. Eat it any way I want.
NJ Pizza vs New York Ciry Pizza equals the Sapranos vs the Corleones. Michael would have rubbed out Tony in 5 minutes.
You like pizza with asbestos on it?
American cheese isn’t real cheese, so I never considered it.
I’m sorry but here in New Haven, if you got the right size slice you better fold it. If you don’t need to fold it, you got cheated.
I’m sorry but canadian bacon and pineapple pizza is delicious. Maybe just don’t call it pizza but it is so tasty, that’s just me. My goto is pepperoni & mushroom or margehrita coal fired. One bite, everybody knows the rules!
Heck yeah...fiber keeps me regular. 😊
One of my favorite "sinful pleasure" pizza meals is a dollar Totino's pizza with a pack of Stouffer's creamed chipped beef dumped on top. Takes a knife and fork to eat it. But lordy, it is fatteningly delicious.

Creamed chipped beef...
When Mom served that I had to eat in another room because my gag reflex kicked in just looking at it.
Although I did like creamed tuna and peas on toast which seems equally gross.
Godfathers puts pickles on their cheeseBurger pizza.
Where do you find Totino’s pizzas for a dollar these days? I’d love to know.
BTW, I agree wholeheartedly with your comment #41 above. All of the self-appointed pizza authorities should eat pizza the way they like it and shut up about what other people might prefer.
Been several years since I’ve had one. I don’t eat them anymore...too much fat and carbs. But, used to be, you could get them for something like 10 for $10 in the grocery store frozen food case. I see them now at Target for $2.19 (nope...ain’t going to Target).
Now I’ve got the Totino jones...
Funny; actual Italians in Naples, where pizza was invented, almost always eat it with a knife and fork, especially if they are sitting at the plentiful outdoor tables. And the reason they may not fold it is that if it is intended for eating on the street, the street vendors in the historic part of town (such as Spaccanapoli) cut in small squares that don't flop around.
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