Does Area 51 have aliens inside it?

Man, do I have an imagination or what? | 3/21/2023 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

No. Let me explain:

Have you ever seen those pink coconut marshmallow cakes often found on convenience store shelves? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, they reach critical mass, just like enriched uranium will. The ensuing explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes, per cake that detonates. This, in turn – when the cakes heat up again -- causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours. This is known by Military EOD specialists and specialized government teams (who are entrusted with the control or eradication of these outbreaks) as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event, or a P.C.M.C.E.

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. To allay suspicion, the agency in charge spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.
   
   Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. This effort was not successful, and now the Ukrainian government has millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.
   
   3. Finally, a PCMCE (actually, more accurately, a WCMCE) occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

DO NOT ATTEMPT HANDLING THESE DANGEROUS CAKES ON YOUR OWN (WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING)!

[shotgun]

Whatever you smoked must have freed your mind and gave you a serious hankerin for these babies.

[shotgun]

I suppose it could have been worse.

[conservativeimage]

Here's what happens when you make an engine that uses Sno-Balls for internal combustion:

[logi_cal869]

[Don W]

I parked in the lot at the Ely end of the E.T. Hwy, and watched a small crew of Area 51 employees embark on the bus to work. Upon their return I asked if there were fish in the lake I could see from this lot, and not one knew.

What kind of people do they employ there that don’t go fishing?

[Mr. K]

dammit... now I want a pink marshmallow cake

[SunkenCiv]

Snowballs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xehlaXCvXsc

[dennisw]

The first time I got on the internet was 1996. One of the first things I searched (search was very crude) was Area 51. Yahoo was very, very crude with a gray background.

[Theophilus]

I’m partial to the chocolate covered marshmellow easter eggs. They are domestic and far less fecund.

[Beowulf9]

I slept in after being out late last night.

I come on here, find this thread drinking my coffee.

I now feel like I took a hit of LSD.