Does Area 51 have aliens inside it?

Man, do I have an imagination or what? | 3/21/2023 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

No. Let me explain:

Have you ever seen those pink coconut marshmallow cakes often found on convenience store shelves? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, they reach critical mass, just like enriched uranium will. The ensuing explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes, per cake that detonates. This, in turn – when the cakes heat up again -- causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours. This is known by Military EOD specialists and specialized government teams (who are entrusted with the control or eradication of these outbreaks) as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event, or a P.C.M.C.E.

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. To allay suspicion, the agency in charge spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.
   
   Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. This effort was not successful, and now the Ukrainian government has millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.
   
   3. Finally, a PCMCE (actually, more accurately, a WCMCE) occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

DO NOT ATTEMPT HANDLING THESE DANGEROUS CAKES ON YOUR OWN (WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING)!

[Leaning Right]

This thread is total nonsense, and should be pulled.

(Sorry. My Pink Coconut Marshmallow overlords forced me to type that.)

[DCBryan1]

Of course there are. More importantly, what are their hand(s)?

[Vermont Lt]

Mmmm…snow balls. You can peel that frosting off, like leaking a tire FR a wheel.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

I would have enjoyed being your High School English teacher. “Class, your assignment today is to write a creative short story.”

[Night Hides Not]

Near the back gate of Area 51 is the town of Rachel, home to the Little A’lien Inn. I’ve been there twice, and their chili is out of this world. The Extraterrestrial Highway is a driving adventure not to be missed.

[no-to-illegals]

Only the gray aliens. They be friendly (smile)

[buckalfa]

Appreciate the "now for something completely different" post.

FR needs a diversion from fighting amongst ourselves.

[null and void]

I tried that, but I ate them...

[Lazamataz]

Appreciate the "now for something completely different" post. FR needs a diversion from fighting amongst ourselves.

I do this from time to time, for exactly that reason.

[BitWielder1]

This is every bit as accurate as global warming feeding of itself until the oceans boil.

[FlingWingFlyer]

I don’t know if there are any aliens at Area 51 but I’m positive that the U.S. Congress is INFESTED with them.

[TomGuy]

Add in some Peeps and the result could be nuclear:

[usconservative]

I don’t know if there are any aliens at Area 51 but I’m positive that the U.S. Congress is INFESTED with them.

glad I scrolled down: beat me to it.

[FlingWingFlyer]

GMTA

[dljordan]

“The aliens are at Wright-Patterson in Ohio.”

Don’t forget Dulce.

[dynachrome]

Alien balls are pink? Who knew.

[38special]

Nope, just some severely burned test pilots

[NorthMountain]

Awww .... it's purrrrrring!

One million, seven hundred seventy one thousand, five hundred sixty one ...

[telescope115]

They’re possibly responsible for the Tunguska Event, if it could be proven they existed back then….

[larrytown]

The aliens are at Wright-Patterson in Ohio.
But you didn’t hear it from me.

They live in the low rent housing between there and Univ of Dayton.