Posted on 01/05/2023 8:38:18 PM PST by grundle
Julia Naftulin writes Insider's dating, sex, and relationships advice column Doing It Right.Julia Naftulin
My ex and I were high school sweethearts. We dated for 10 years, moved to two cities together, and talked about marriage.
In August 2021, my ex suddenly said he had to end the relationship to be alone. He said he didn't know if he could ever get married.
A year and a half later, I've learned how to practice self-compassion, ask for help, and find gratitude after grief.
When my ex-boyfriend sat me down to break up with me in August 2021, I didn't realize it was happening. He had to sit me down again the next day to make sure I understood. He needed to move on, alone, without me.
We dated for 10 years, starting during our junior year of high school. Throughout that time, we talked about marriage and moved to two different cities together. Sure, the pandemic put a strain on our relationship, but I thought it was par for the course. I imagined we could get through anything together because I loved him, our love, and the memories we shared. I loved how our high school friendship became so much more, how we grew up together, and how he felt like the first man who really wanted to know me. For him, I learned, that wasn't enough.
For a few months, I could barely eat or go a day without crying. It felt like my world had collapsed and I was left alone to figure out what to do with the rubble.
A year and a half later, after bouts of extreme sadness, anger, and confusion, I've found closure. It's something an earlier version of myself couldn't have imagined.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
It wasn’t until recently that my husband introduced me to the personality type of Sigma male and Sigma female.
When I saw the video describing the Sigma male, I turned to my husband and exclaimed, “Honey, that’s you!”
He then showed me the video describing the personality traits of a Sigma female. “That’s you,” he stated.
Not enough men and women are secure enough in themselves to walk through life alone. I knew the qualities I wanted in a husband (loyal, trustworthy, religious, hardworking, independent, strong) because those were traits I embodied. I was more than content not marrying; I could not marry someone I did not truly love because that person deserved to be loved completely, whole-heartedly.
I could tell within a few dates if the relationship would last and would end it gracefully. I did not sleep with any of them and did not string them along. I dated some very fine young men and sincerely wished them only the best when we parted. I genuinely rejoiced for them when they found their future spouses.
I didn’t experience “true love” until I met my husband. I knew by our 1st date that I was more attracted to him than any other man I had ever met. I knew by the 6th date that we were aligned. At 3 months, I knew I wanted to marry him. By the end of our first year, he wanted to marry me.
As much as I wanted him and enjoyed spending time with him, I was going to give the relationship 6 more months and then end it if things did not progress. I don’t give my heart easily and would prefer to be alone than with someone who didn’t share my level of commitment. I never told him this, since pressuring a man to commit is not the honorable path.
Three months later, he proposed. Thirty two years later, we are still inseparable.
Had I not met him, I would still be by myself and content with that.
Unless she was prepared for a future alone, she was foolish to dedicate so much if her life to a man who would not commit to her.
Her choice.
No she still has 5-7 years.
Nobody needs to talk!
Most people cant handle being by themselves. Never learned how to be ok with themselves, alone.
I have a particular skill for finding that.
Ask me about my record.
No. Wait. Don’t.
LOL
Notice how all these articles are written from the woman’s point of view.
The manosphere has been banned and canceled.
Maybe the guy figured out that the deck was stacked against him once he got married.
50 years ago I married my girlfriend.
We’re still married.
I’m beginning to suspect she might be the one.
She was a fool. If he didn’t want a serious committed relationship after about a year, she should have moved on and found the guy who’d put a ring on her finger. She wasted years of her life with that piece of crud.
Judging by the picture, it was a close call for the guy. Nearly had a super-high maintenance type.
from the article, they “talked about marriage”
Lol.
I think it was Yoda that said “do or don’t do”....
I proposed to my wife of many years, she accepted the proposal and we got married. We didn’t “talk about marriage”.
;-)
She should have copped a clue at least 8 years earlier
Well, she’s a very good-looking woman, so if the guy broke up with her after ten years together, I’m guessing it was because he couldn’t stand to be with her anymore. And she makes her living writing about relationships. Yikes.
Very true.
☑️
That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. I was one who needed to taste the milk before I bought the cow. It takes a fool to buy a cow who's milk is sour or dry.
My wife and I are working on our 49th year, and I suspect she appreciated knowing we were compatible too.
📖
That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. I was one who needed to taste the milk before I bought the cow. It takes a fool to buy a cow who's milk is sour or dry.
My wife and I are working on our 49th year, and I suspect she appreciated knowing we were compatible too.
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